Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 561
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the crowd, and everyone’s gaze turned towards the venue’s entrance.
“Who… who is that?! What… what’s going on with that light? It’s so dazzling!”
“That… that’s simply… a heavenly maiden!”
“Who exactly is that boyfriend?! To cultivate a girlfriend to this level, he’s extraordinary!”
Following the excited exclamations of the Cherry members, everyone looked towards the entrance and saw Sakata Edo, wearing a refreshing expression and a black suit, accompanied by his girlfriend, Miss Hyakubai, wearing an elegant and noble white dress.
To be honest, at this moment, Sakata Edo and his girlfriend Hyakubai indeed attracted the attention of everyone present.
“Sakata… Sakata!” Kawaki widened his eyes in disbelief, staring at Sakata Edo, who pushed up his glasses and chuckled.
“Kawaki, this kid… is something else.” Kondo lightly patted Kawaki’s shoulder and sighed softly.
…
“The day has finally arrived!” On the stage, wearing sunglasses, with a slightly skinny figure and a crew cut, the host raised his fists excitedly towards the microphone and exclaimed, “From the ideal girlfriends carefully cultivated by everyone, we will determine the number one girlfriend! The Love Showdown Cup, my wife’s greatest martial arts tournament, is now open!”
As soon as the host’s voice fell, the audience cheered loudly.
Sakata, assigned to the Hiraga group, glanced sideways with droopy eyelids at the dark aura emanating from Hijikata by his side, then glanced at Sakata Edo and his girlfriend Hyakubai, who were emitting dazzling light not far away, thinking to himself, “Can I win? Compared to my meagre delusions… and that guy’s immense delusions…”
At this moment, Indo, assigned to the Harem group, also alone, crossed his arms with one hand supporting his chin, lost in thought.
“What’s going on? That guy? He managed to capture the hearts of three main heroines simultaneously?”
“Isn’t that wrong? Shouldn’t the consequences of capturing multiple main heroines simultaneously be getting stabbed to death?”
“Why is that guy still fine?”
Ignoring the people’s discussions, Indo turned his face to glance at Tsukuyo, who was also assigned to the Hiraga group not far away.
Just then, the host’s voice sounded again: “First, starting from the preliminaries, everyone will be divided into four groups: the Sheath Flower group, Hyakubai group, Hiraga group, and the Harem group, for those who have captured two or more heroines! Please complete it within your groups; only the winning couples can enter the finals! In other words, representatives from each group will compete to decide who the best heroine is! The winner is the boyfriend who can bring out his girlfriend’s charm during the in-game dates! Now, let the competition begin!”
As soon as the host’s voice fell, everyone in the audience took out their game consoles, eagerly operating them with their heads bowed.
A man with black-framed glasses, a crew cut, freckles on his face, and a bit overweight kept tapping on the screen of his console with an electronic pen.
“Hmph! Let me show you the power of my girlfriend, who has spent over 5000 hours in this game!” The man said excitedly.
“The first to act is number 132 of the Hyakubai group,” the host explained, and the screen on the stage also showed the image of the game console held by this participant, “Boyfriend power and intimacy are undoubtedly full!”
At this moment, on the screen (from the boyfriend’s perspective), the girlfriend of number 132 in the Hyakubai group, Miss Hyakubai, waved her hand and smiled as she ran towards her boyfriend waiting in the park.
Miss Hyakubai arrived in front of number 132, blushing slightly, and said in a low voice, “I feel like… there are so few people here… I… can’t hold back anymore!”
After saying that, Miss Hyakubai directly pushed number 132 into the nearby flower bed and passionately kissed him.
“Oh! The girlfriend suddenly became excited!” the host exclaimed excitedly.
“That’s…!” Kondo, standing between Hijikata and Kawaki, widened his eyes in disbelief and said, “When there’s no one around and the values are at their highest, it’s the phenomenon that occurs only when the girlfriend’s mood is in heat—’ Shameless (French) Kiss’!”
“What is ‘heat’?! This is an erotic game!” Kawaki’s eye twitched, and he loudly complained.
“This is a rare kiss, even for veteran players!” Kondo explained seriously.
Number 132, continuously clicking on Miss Hyakubai’s lips, displayed on the screen of his console, laughed maniacally.
“Haha… I’ve been waiting for this day with great anticipation!”
At the same time, the other members of the Hyakubai group, watching this scene, showed expressions of horror.
“No… no! My… my Hyakubai Miss!” A participant from the Hyakubai group cried out in distress, clutching his head in agitation.
“Pull yourself together; your Hyakubai is here…” Hyakubai Miss, belonging to the player next to him, comforted. However, before she could finish, she shattered into countless pieces with a “snap,” slowly dissipating in the air.
At the same time, more and more Hyakubai Misses with different outfits shattered into pieces and dissipated in the air. The only Hyakubai Misses left were… Sakata Edo’s Hyakubai Miss and Indo’s Hyakubai Miss, who didn’t belong to the Hyakubai group.
“Ohhh!” The host exclaimed again, “Under the assault of the ‘Chaotic Kiss’ from number 132, the Hyakubai groups lost their fighting spirit one after another and gradually collapsed! The judges’ evaluation is—”
When the host’s voice fell, the judges on the side raised their scores.
The middle-aged man with a topknot— “Exciting Cutie P—60 points”
Middle-aged, chubby, freckled, bespectacled man—”Heartbeat P—95 points”
And the gorilla (Kondo) had sneaked in somewhere—”Restless—100 points!”
“Restless scored 100 points!” the host exclaimed excitedly, “With a total of 255 points! A super high score has suddenly appeared!”
“Hey! There’s a gorilla among them!” Kawaki’s veins popped as he angrily complained to the host.
“Uh, um, dear, that’s not me…” Hyakubai raised her head, showing a worried expression.
“Oh, I know,” Indo replied casually, not denying it.
“Dear…” Hyakubai’s eyes widened involuntarily, and her pupils trembled slightly, adding some internal monologue: [My dear trusts me so much…]
“Why is your game so absurd? And why do you have an internal monologue?” Kawaki pointed at Hyakubai sarcastically.
“What are you talking about?” Indo, picking his ear, looked at Kawaki with a strange expression, “Isn’t trust the foundation of love?”
After hearing this, Kawaki looked incredulous, “Are you that idiot Indo?!”
“Believe it or not, I’ll slaughter you right now?” Indo glanced coldly at Kawaki, then chuckled softly, “I knew you didn’t read the Love Showdown’s instructions carefully. There’s a sentence written in the instructions, you know!”
“Oh, I see…” Kawaki’s expression turned blank again.
“But even a guy like me, who knows nothing about love, knows these things.” Indo continued, then glanced at the people in the Hyakubai group beside him, “But then again, are their levels high? Because they had completely lost their fighting spirit over this. Their resilience is too weak; wouldn’t even their mothers be disappointed?”
“No, it’s probably because they’re participating in this competition that their mothers are already thoroughly disappointed,” Kawaki muttered.
“Yeah, can’t deny that.” Indo nodded lightly, not denying it.
Indo didn’t know that the values on the game console belonging to the Hyakubai held in his arms were rapidly rising. In the blink of an eye, all the values except the level had been increased to the maximum, including the girlfriend’s mood…
[Haha, I’ll win for the Hyakubai group…] Number 132 chuckled inwardly, feeling triumphant. Still, just as he finished thinking, he suddenly noticed something—that was—Sakata Edo and his girlfriend Hyakubai, who were dating in the park scene!
At this moment, Sakata Edo mechanically swung his arms, cheeks slightly red, his gaze occasionally avoiding Hyakubai beside him, and Hyakubai, on his side, showed similar behaviour. Every time their eyes met, they would instantly shift their gaze, and their cheeks would blush.
“Oh! There’s another boyfriend!” the host continued to explain.
“Sakata Edo-kun…” Kondo said, somewhat surprised, then involuntarily widened his eyes, “That… that is!”
“What’s going on? This couple is dating, yet they’re not even holding hands!” the host exclaimed again, “Not only that but their boyfriend power and intimacy are also below standard!”
“That’s impossible!” Kondo looked astonished, “No matter what, they’ve already sunk to that level!”
“It’s Platonic love!” the host explained excitedly, “Completely different from the passionate kiss of number 132!”
(Platonic love refers to a purely spiritual love without physical desire.)
Seeing this scene, number 132 chuckled inwardly, [Haha, victory is mine.]
“Um…” Just then, Sakata Edo suddenly stopped, looking at Hyakubai beside him with a shy expression, and asked shyly, “Are you thirsty? If you’re thirsty, I’ll go buy some drinks…”
“It seems unbearable to endure the awkward silence anymore?”
“Um, then I’ll go buy some.” Hyakubai quickly said, “What would you like to drink, Sakata Edo-kun?”
“Um… sorry, then I’ll have tea.” Sakata Edo whispered.
Two minutes later, Hyakubai returned with a bottle of green tea. After opening the bottle, she handed it to Sakata Edo with both hands, “Here you go~.”
“Um… Hyakubai, there’s only one bottle…” Sakata Edo accepted the tea and whispered.
“Oh, because I also want to drink tea.” Hyakubai answered embarrassedly, “It’s okay if we have the same thing, right?”
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