Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 563

“Why are you ignoring us?!” Shinpachi gritted his teeth and angrily shouted with widened eyes.

“That’s right! Is it okay to die without experiencing the cuteness of our young master?!” Toujou, veins popping on his forehead, exclaimed indignantly.

“Uh… that…” Tsukuyo pretended to remain calm, crossing one arm over her chest while holding a cigarette in the other hand. Despite her attempt at composure, her face turned completely red, and her voice trembled, “…Daring said that… I should participate…”

“That’s enough, Tsuki. You’ve already tried your best.” Shinpachi, in a rare display of gentleness, showed a soft expression and patted Tsukuyo’s shoulder, comforting her gently.

At this moment, all the judges simultaneously displayed their scorecards… Well, unsurprisingly, they were all zeros.

“Hmm, all zeros indeed,” the host remarked again.

“We haven’t done anything yet!” Gin-chan retorted indignantly with widened eyes.

“No, no matter how you look at it, it’s not cute at all,” muttered one of the middle-aged judges with a chin scratch.

Perhaps only Hijikata noticed the fleeting sense of loss in Tsukuyo’s eyes.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Gin-chan clenched his fist and glared at the judges, his anger evident, “Do you think I participated in this disgusting competition for some trivial reason?!”

“Then let me ask you this in return: do you genuinely want to go on a date with Otae?” the judge interjected, crossing his arms and squinting slightly, his tone calm.

“Well, that’s not so easy to say…” Gin-chan hesitated momentarily, “Anyway, I want to make it to the finals…”

“Do you love Otae?!” another judge continued.

Instantly, black lines appeared at the corners of Gin-chan’s eyes, and he sneered, casting a disdainful glance at Otae behind him before straightening up and remaining silent for a few seconds before forcefully and loudly lying, “Of course… I love her! You bastard!”

As Gin-chan spoke, the audience fell silent, everyone displaying expressions of extreme shock, mouths half-open, staring blankly at Gin-chan.

“Gin-chan… you…” Hijikata widened his eyes, looking incredulous.

Sensing the change in atmosphere, Gin-chan scanned the surroundings and couldn’t help but think, ?Huh? Hold on, why did the atmosphere suddenly become so serious? Why is only this guy truly understanding what’s going on??

With that thought, Gin-chan glanced at the reluctantly agreeing Shinpachi, the comforting Tsukuyo patting Shinpachi’s shoulder, and the silently tearful Toujou nearby.

?Why does he look so unwilling? Why does he seem so understanding? Why is he crying??

Gin-chan was starting to doubt his life, but then he remembered something, twitching his eye corner mechanically as he slowly turned his head to look at Otae.

Accidentally making eye contact with Gin-chan, Otae quickly averted her gaze, her face turning red involuntarily.

“I… I’m not feeling happy at all…” ?You’re blushing for no reason!?Gin-chan’s expression was akin to someone with constipation, his face covered in a cold sweat, as he inwardly pleaded, ?Stop it! Please, stop this atmosphere!?

“I understand,” the host nodded, then spoke again, “Since you’ve said that, please come and prove your words. The date and location of Otae’s group are Dreamland (LOVE World)!”

(View from the boyfriend’s perspective) Upon seeing the love hotel in front of him, Gin-chan’s entire being froze instantly, his expression stiffening.

?Im… immediately head to the official showdown?!?Gin-chan internally grumbled, then protested loudly, spittle flying towards the judges, “Wait a minute! Why is it just us in the comprehensive sports arena when there were amusement parks and zoos earlier?!”

?Come on, show me what you’ve got.?Katsura smirked, a mischievous (scheming) smile on his face.

“What kind of show are you talking about?” Gin-chan retorted furiously.

?Climb up here, come up to this place…?Shinpachi adjusted his glasses, looking down at Gin-chan from a high vantage point, his lips curling into a smirk.

“How could I possibly climb up there?! That place is at the bottom of the barrel! It’s in the sewer!”

“What are you afraid of, Ah-jo?” Dressed as a one-eyed boxing coach, Kondo gritted his teeth, “Show everyone your world-renowned left hook!”

“What’s a left hook?” Gin-chan’s face instantly contorted with frustration; his eyebrows furrowed as he vehemently complained, “It’s not even straight; it’s completely limp! You can’t even see ‘tomorrow’ clearly!”

At this moment, Toujou was the first to start operating the game console, murmuring with a slight blush, “To publicly reveal the young master’s shameful side in a place like this, that’s… that’s… so exciting, isn’t it?”

“The first to act is No. 311!” the host enthusiastically continued.

On the large screen (from the boyfriend’s perspective), Toujou stood before the love hotel, biting his thumb and acting cute as if he were a child, pleading to the indifferent Sougo, “Young master~ My diaper is so itchy! I want to change it~.”

Seeing Toujou continuously acting cute and pulling at Sougo’s hand, Gin-chan scoffed disdainfully, “Very well, instead of diapers, why don’t you change your brain?”

“The couple used to playing infant roleplay effortlessly cleared the first level…”

As the host’s voice faded, a sudden change occurred on the screen. Sougo impatiently shook off Toujou’s hand.

“For heaven’s sake, can you stop it?” Sougo looked at Toujou impatiently, “We’re not playing for real. If you don’t control yourself, I’ll call the manager.”

“Oh! What’s going on? It turns out the boyfriend we thought was Otae’s boyfriend is just a stand-in for Shinpachi at the Parlor Club!”

“What’s a Parlor Club?! Why did you go to a club instead of the game?! That idiot!” Gin-chan burst out in frustration.

At this moment, Sougo took out his phone without hesitation, dialled the manager’s number, and put it to his ear, “Mosimoshi, I’m being bothered by strange customers right now…”

Panicked, Toujou quickly raised three fingers and pleaded, “Ah, wait! I… I’ll add another 30,000!”

“Manager, over here.” Sougo waved to the quickly arriving manager.

“Don’t call the manager! Please don’t call the manager!”

Toujou pleaded loudly, but it was too late. With sunglasses on, the manager entered the battle mode at the hotel entrance.

Watching the screen turn into a fighting game, Gin-chan complained again, “Why did it suddenly become a game without permission?!”

“No. 311 enters into a battle with the manager!” the host explained, “In this case, you must defeat the branch manager first, then the general manager, and the president until you defeat the final boss, Frieza; you can’t return to the date!”

Just as the host finished speaking, Toujou was depleted of all HP by the manager and effectively disqualified.

“It has completely turned into another game!” Gin-chan grumbled again.

“Hey, it turns out that Otae is the worst after all. Amazingly, he can date such a girl,” remarked a bespectacled virgin with cat ear accessories, full of disdain.

Seeing the outraged virgins, the host shouted passionately once again, “The impression of Otae is getting worse and worse!”

“Don’t joke around!” Tsukuyo, stepping forward, operated her game console, “Don’t confuse my Gintoki with that Otae!”

“Now it’s the turn of No. 294, who forcibly transformed Otae into Gintae, the couple!”

Watching as Toujou forcibly changed Otae into Gintae, causing the entire game screen and operation to be disqualified, Hijikata was speechless.

Fortunately, after just a few minutes, Toujou was defeated by the manager.

“We… should go next.” Tsukuyo’s hands, holding the game console, were still trembling slightly, her eyes gradually turning into mosquito coils, and her beautiful face was completely red.

“No. 233, the couple who transformed Otae into Otanari, setting off!” the host announced again, but…

Five minutes later…

“What’s going on… stopped? Is it a malfunction? It stopped at the hotel entrance and stayed for five minutes, which could be better. If it exceeds five minutes, it will attract security attention! Security is already calling the manager!”

Two more minutes later…

“Um, that, n-next time I’ll win…” Tsukuyo glanced at Shinpachi beside her with a slightly mysterious look in her eyes, “R-Right?”

As the battle music ended, the host announced the results bluntly, “Only one couple left!”

“Wait a minute,” Hijikata raised a sign that read “Heartfelt Intentions – 100P” and spoke up, “What do you mean it’s over? No, we haven’t lost yet.”

“It’s the harem group’s Mr. Hijikata! Mr. Hijikata from the harem group has expressed opposition and given 100 points for heartfelt intentions!”

“You…” Tsukuyo looked at Hijikata with some disbelief.

“Although there are many things I want to say, the most important thing is…” Hijikata put down the sign, scratched his head, and then looked at the host, “Can this boring competition be stopped? What is this nonsense about my wife being the number one martial artist in the world? What kind of disgusting event is this? There’s no such disgusting event in real life. What exactly are you trying to compare? The charm of your wife?”

“Um, Mr. Hijikata?” the host cautiously called out.

“Shut up,” Hijikata gave the host a cold glance, then continued, “Ah, it’s troublesome. To participate in such a disgusting event for something like that, a competition for the charm of one’s girlfriend? A competition where people joyfully accept others’ criticisms of their girlfriends? Is that what this is? Sakamoto? Katsura? Do you understand what having a girlfriend means?”

With that, Hijikata glanced at Sakamoto and Katsura on the stage, then looked at the people below, “And you guys, innocence should have its limits, right? Why don’t you have girlfriends? Is it because of these disgusting thoughts of yours, because you start to resent your girlfriend when you see others’ girlfriends’ charm, and then… meddle in others’ relationships… Hey, hey, ease up a bit, will you? Do you understand what it means to have a girlfriend?”

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