Maybe a Fake Gintama – Read Fanfic

Held securely in the only remaining hand of Elizabeth’s Gundam, Katsura stared at Midojin in disbelief, mumbling, “No… impossible…”

On the mothership, Shinpachi and the others, watching through the windows, were equally stunned.

“The fleet… attacked Midojin!” Shinpachi’s eyes widened, his pupils trembling slightly.

At that moment, a red ship emerged from behind the Renpou fleet, slowly advancing to the front of the formation.

“Midojin! You are the one who’s alone in the universe!” Sakamoto stood before a group of Renpou soldiers on the Kaientai ship, arms crossed, grinning widely, “Sorry to keep you waiting, Katsura. The Renpou-Earth Alliance is formed!”

“Sakamoto!!” Katsura shouted.

“You bastards!!” Midojin, still trapped in the wreckage of the mothership, cursed as he struggled with his broken body.

?Midojin, you once said,? Left Dragon General, covered in bandages, raised his signboard on the Kaientai ship.

?We Renpou citizens are just tools for you to conquer Earth.? Right Dragon General, completely unscathed, raised his signboard beside him.

?But the Earthlings said…? A regular Renpou soldier raised his signboard.

?That for their people and friends, they would give up a planet or two.? Another regular Renpou soldier raised his signboard.

?Friends are…?

?Irreplaceable treasures.?

?Even if we gain new land by fighting Earthlings…?

?What value does a planet have if it has no friends??

More and more Renpou soldiers raised their signboards.

?Warriors, you haven’t forgotten the promise we exchanged, have you?? Right Dragon General raised his signboard towards Sakamoto.

“Of course not. Whether it’s Earth or any other place, we’ll help you conquer it.” Still with his arms crossed, Sakamoto replied without looking back, his tone casual.

“Then…” A Renpou soldier dropped his signboard and spoke with his authentic voice, “Could we fight alongside those who protected our second home Earth…”

More Renpou soldiers dropped their signboards.

“…and the pride and people of Renpou…”

“Who fought and protected alone…”

“With our friends… to conquer that hollow planet?” All the remaining Renpou soldiers spoke in unison.

“No problem at all,” Sakamoto replied without turning back, “First rule of the Renpou-Earth Alliance: When playing UNO, space rules take priority. Second rule…”

Sakamoto turned to the Renpou soldiers and pulled a copy of “Lethal Weapon” for the FC game console from his pocket, “When Renpou comes to Earth, we’ll not only play FC but also enjoy SNES. In other words, we’re already friends!”

Shinpachi, who had been silent for a long time, took a deep breath.

“It was just the ‘Lethal Weapon’ game that hooked them! What kind of Renpou-Earth Alliance is this?!”

On the Kaientai ship, Sakamoto continued to persuade the Renpou soldiers, “You can eat ‘Lethal Weapon’ to your heart’s content on Earth~”

Instantly, all the Renpou soldiers raised their hands and cheered.

“What kind of planet is this?! They all switched sides for a game!” Shinpachi complained again.

“Humph,” Mutsu, adjusting her hat, chuckled softly. To win over the people, it’s not force or ideology, but interests and bonds that matter. It’s a foolish transaction, just like him…”

At that moment, Mutsu’s communicator beeped twice. Realizing something, she urged the others, “Get on the ship and leave immediately!”

“Huh? What’s the rush all of a sudden?” Shinpachi asked in confusion.

“That man’s half-hour deadline is almost up! We don’t know what will happen to this planet or what he’ll do! Hurry up!”

“That man…” Shinpachi recalled, “Kawaki-san?”

“Hurry!!” Mutsu ran first, with Aru Elizabeth quickly following. On the way, Shinpachi returned to Nibutani and urged, “Nibutani-san! Come with us quickly!”

“Oh, I’m coming.” Nibutani responded, starting to walk, but couldn’t help but look back at the scene outside the window, her expression softening as she murmured, “Kawaki, though we didn’t get Earth, it seems you’ve gained something far more beautiful…”

…

?Katsura-san…? After reuniting with Katsura, Elizabeth raised a signboard.

“Don’t say anything…” Katsura shook his head slightly, replying softly, “Both of us just did what needed to be done. We just chose the path that allows us to be proud as friends. No need for apologies or goodbyes. If there’s anything to say…”

?Thank you, rabbit.? Elizabeth raised a timely signboard.

“OkayC”

Inside the mothership, Kawaki smirked and chuckled softly before turning to Tsukuyo, who was still trying different passwords to open the door.

“It’s no use. Without the right password, it won’t open.” Tsukuyo’s expression was slightly tense.

“4649.”

Tsukuyo tried the password Kawaki suggested, and the door… opened.

“How did you know?!” Tsukuyo exclaimed.

“Just a wild guess.” Kawaki shrugged nonchalantly and stepped through the dark red door.

As soon as Kawaki entered, his expression changed. His eyes widened, and beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead.

“That… that’s…!!”

…

After gathering himself and arming the Gundam, Katsura shouted, “Let’s go, Elizabeth! With friends from Earth… and friends from the galaxy… fire!!”

“Wait, Katsura.” Sakamoto’s voice interrupted, “That’s not our final enemy.”

“Huh? Not the final enemy?!” Katsura was surprised, “But…”

“Midojin, it’s time to reveal your true form, isn’t it?” Sakamoto said in a troubled tone, “I’m not talking about that broken mechanical body, but your true self…”

“You… you noticed?!” Midojin was shocked, “My real body…”

“What do you mean, Sakamoto?” Katsura demanded.

“You wouldn’t understand with your limited brain cells…” Gintoki, picking his nose, replied calmly, “It takes someone more meticulous than a woman to notice something like this.”

“Ha ha ha ha…” Midojin laughed, “Very well! For noticing such a detail, I’ll reward you with a glimpse of my true form! Feel my wrath, traitors and samurai!”

With that, Midojin went silent, his body slumping like a puppet with its strings cut. Midojin’s voice echoed from the steel planet as everyone wondered what was happening, which began to change.

The white fragments started to fall… no, not fall, but reassemble!

The entire planet was reassembling, with all the fragments forming a gigantic Renpou soldier! ?No, that’s not collapsing.? Elizabeth raised a signboard.

“What’s happening?” Katsura asked and then noticed something, his eyes widening in shock.

The white steel planet reassembled into a giant Renpou soldier! “I told you, defeating me changes nothing!” Midojin’s voice echoed as the giant Renpou soldier’s arms extended into massive drills and cannons, and giant duck feet formed from shells, “Midojin, like all of you, is just a puppet I control. No, not just him, but every ruler of this planet has been a shell I created and controlled! But I never thought anyone would notice this! You’re fighting the planet itself!”

“No way!” Katsura exclaimed, “The planet has transformed into a giant Renpou soldier!”

“Midojin, you mean…” Elizabeth trembled with realization, “The central system Sagi! That’s Midojin’s… no, the true identity of every ruler of Renpou!”

“Eh?” Katsura was stunned.

“Long ago, Renpou’s planet was destroyed in a great war, and we lived on this steel planet.” Elizabeth explained, “At that time, Sagi was created to manage the planet’s environment and plan its prosperity. At some point, Sagi went out of control, creating rulers as its tools to enforce the most efficient reproduction policies. It used the name of the law to oppress the people. We Renpou were born in Sagi’s hands! To it, we’re just tools like the mass-produced machines (Gundam). It believed that by transplanting itself to a superior planet, it could continue to reproduce. Now, with its tools rebelling, Sagi itself has come out! Using this planet as its final tool!”

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