Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 582
“Thank you, Qtarou-kun, for the explanation,” Sakamoto clapped his hands nonchalantly and praised, then lightly curved his mouth into a smile, adjusting his sunglasses with a face full of interest as he looked at the gigantic Renpou… or rather, SAGI, whose mouth was gathering a massive ball of red energy. “However, whether we noticed or not, it probably wasn’t just us who didn’t notice…”
“Facing death so calmly? It seems Earth is indeed worth invading,” SAGI laughed heartily. “Then, I’ll take it without hesitation! And then… die…”
Just as SAGI was about to fire the beam, it suddenly stopped.
“When… when did you invade?!” SAGI’s terrified voice echoed again.
“What are you doing, Tsukuyo?” Kawaki’s voice followed, “We were just about to see this giant, though ridiculously ugly, robot’s ultimate move!”
“You said it’s an unspoken rule not to interrupt transformations, so I didn’t, but now it’s about to attack! Are you an idiot?” Tsukuyo rebuked angrily.
“Then there’s Rule Two: Never interrupt during the ultimate move or self-introduction! Otherwise, the director will be angry!” Kawaki reminded again.
“Why are you arguing about such irrelevant things at a time like this… Besides, who is the director anyway? Aren’t we in a novel?” On the Kaientai ship, standing next to Mutsu, Shinpachi commented expressionlessly.
“SAGI, I’m truly sorry. It seems our team’s ‘brain’ is superior,” Sakamoto mocked.
“Can it control those idiots with the best brain?” Mutsu chuckled, “It’s truly remarkable, utilizing those fools to play to their strengths, filling in gaps, integrating everything, and conquering a steel planet in thirty minutes… It’s incredible. I kind of understand now why in the later stages of the Joui War, despite being outnumbered by hundreds of times against the Shogunate and the Amanto, they won more often than not…”
“Kawaki!!” Katsura shouted, his face showing a bit of regret, “These chapters barely had you in them, I thought you were just dead…”
Before he could finish, a laser beam shot out from the giant Renpou’s mouth, narrowly missing Katsura’s face by a mere millimeter.
“Wow! It really works! Touching here really controls it!” Inside the mothership, Kawaki looked at the giant brain floating in nutrient solution through the broken glass cover, delightfully saying, “Tsukuyo, do you want to try? It’s super fun!”
“Mutsu-san, I think it’s better to stay further away.” Shinpachi adjusted his non-existent glasses, expressionlessly reminding, “Kawaki-san’s playful side is very dangerous.”
“All fleets, retreat!!” Mutsu immediately raised her hand and issued the command.
“So the general rule is that touching different parts of this brain allows manual control, right?” Kawaki’s voice echoed again.
“Yes… that’s right.” SAGI’s voice was very small.
“Kaientai, full retreat except for that idiot’s ship!!” Mutsu shouted again, “Immediately! Retreat!!”
“Then, how about here?” Kawaki asked, lightly poking a part of SAGI.
“Oh~” SAGI suddenly made a troubling sound, “Don’t… don’t touch there, that’s…”
“This seems off,” Shinpachi expressionlessly commented again, “Where did he touch just now to make such a sound?!”
“Liar!” Kawaki’s voice sounded again, “How can that control anything?! It’s impossible! Absolutely a lie!”
“No, I’m telling the truth.” SAGI weakly retorted.
“No, it’s completely wrong! Controlling men there is by instinct!!” Kawaki declared seriously but then screamed, “Ah! Tsukuyo, what are you doing?! I’m telling the truth! This brain is lying! For the cute readers who might be watching, I can’t let them learn such incorrect knowledge!”
“Why are you talking such nonsense now?” Tsukuyo rebuked with cold eyes, pulling out her kunai, “Let’s end this and go back.”
“St… stop!!” SAGI quickly begged, “Don’t do that! Besides, destroying me means you’ll be going down with me! It’s not worth it for a bunch of strangers!”
?Going down together!? Kagura suddenly caught the key phrase, “Hey! What do you mean by going down together?!”
“Destroying me will cause all the energy of this planet to go out of control, leading to an explosion!” Seeing Tsukuyo approaching, SAGI hastily explained, “The energy released in such an explosion is beyond your endurance!”
“So noisy and troublesome,” Kawaki dug his ear, then without hesitation pointed his umbrella at SAGI inside the glass cover, “Sorry, Kagura, I won’t be going back to Earth with you.”
“Not going back to Earth… what are you talking about?” Kagura was stunned, her eyes widening in shock, “Uncle, what do you mean by not going back to Earth?!”
“And… next month’s allowance, um…” Kawaki awkwardly smiled, “Sorry, Kagura-chan.”
Realizing something, Kagura screamed, “Hey! What are you talking about?!”
“Kawaki-san… have you decided this from the beginning?” Shinpachi murmured in disbelief, “That’s why you had Sakamoto evacuate everyone… you…”
“Hey! Kawaki! What are you planning?!” Gintoki, also realizing something was wrong, shouted with wide eyes and furrowed brows, “Hey——!! You bastard, what do you think you’re doing?!”
“Kawaki… there… there must be another way!” Sakamoto, drenched in cold sweat, shouted incoherently, “St… stop!!”
Kawaki nonchalantly continued, “So that’s that. It’s a bit regrettable that I can’t return to Earth with you, but… I have a big-breasted woman here, though her personality is worse than Mary-san’s… ow! What are you doing, Tsukuyo?!”
“Don’t say unnecessary things.” Tsukuyo replied coldly.
“Tsukuyo, do you have anything to say?” Kawaki asked.
“No.”
“Well then, the final order for this mission is for everyone to… evacuate the mothership!! Goodbye, everyone~”
As soon as Kawaki finished speaking, he and Tsukuyo simultaneously prepared themselves, one with an umbrella and the other with a kunai, both aiming at SAGI.
“What are you… going to do?!” SAGI shouted in panic, “No… don’t——!!”
Kawaki/Tsukuyo: “Ishbroken/Tenkeiii!!”
“Ahhhhh!!” SAGI screamed.
At the same time, almost everyone, with terrified expressions, rushed toward the giant Renpou controlled by SAGI.
“You… you stop right there!!” Gintoki roared with bloodshot eyes.
“No, no!!” Sakamoto pulled out “The Story of Kawaki” from his pocket, mumbling to himself, “It shouldn’t be like this… the ending… it shouldn’t be like this… I noticed it… why? Why?”
“Kawaki——!!” Katsura had already broken free from Elizabeth’s hand, rushing towards the giant Renpou.
“Uncle——!!” Kagura, with tears streaming down her face, screamed.
“Kawaki-san——!! Tsukuyo-san——!!” Shinpachi shouted.
“All units… full speed ahead!!” Mutsu commanded.
But… it was too late. An explosion… a massive explosion occurred.
Boom, boom, boom!!! The giant Renpou, like a massive nuclear bomb, instantly ignited. The huge explosion almost engulfed all the ships, including the rapidly approaching Kaientai fleet.
In the last moment before losing consciousness, Gintoki mumbled, “In the end… your proposal… was right…”
…
One week later, Earth, Edo.
On the streets of Edo, in a restaurant.
“Do not search.” With bandages wrapped around his head, Katsura raised a signboard that read “Do not search” and began to ramble, “Finding this signboard in the room alone. What does ‘do not search’ mean? Does it mean there’s something we shouldn’t search for? Or if we search, we’ll find things we shouldn’t? What exactly should we not search for? Or should we find someone willing to help search, then decide what we shouldn’t search for… or find that person who is willing to help find the person who shouldn’t be searched for…”
Before Katsura could finish, Gintoki, who was also bandaged on his head, stood up and kicked him in the face.
“So annoying.”
“Why are you getting lost in the labyrinth of ‘do not search’?” Shinpachi, sitting next to Gintoki with bandages on his head, sipped his soda, half-closed his eyes, looking speechless.
“Lying on the table, his nose still bleeding, Katsura mumbled, “Do not search…”
“Who wants to find you?” Gintoki retorted, analyzing casually, “Basically, it’s just that they ran away from home.”
“Ran… ran away from home?!” Katsura instantly sat up, slamming his hands on the table, excitedly arguing, “Impossible! There’s no reason for such a thing! The last time I saw them, it was…”
Suddenly, Katsura paused, “They… who were they?”
After a long silence, Gintoki shrugged nonchalantly, “I don’t know.”
“By the way… this conversation seems familiar,” Shinpachi murmured, “It feels like… someone is missing…”
“I feel the same,” Kagura nodded, looking towards the side of Katsura, “It seems like there should be another person… who could it be?”
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