Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 583
Gintoki stood to the side, listening to Kagura’s words, crossing his arms and pondering.
“It feels like I’ve forgotten someone very important…” Kagura continued, clutching her chest, “My chest feels heavy, really heavy… and painful… sad…”
“Did you eat too much?” Gintoki glanced at the towering stack of empty bowls before Kagura, smirking.
“Strange…” Kagura stared at the table, confused by the tears dropping from her eyes, “Why am I… crying?”
“I… am too…” Shinpachi removed his glasses, wiping away the tears that continued to flow, puzzled, “It’s strange… why can’t I stop crying? There isn’t anything sad happening…”
“Shinpachi,” Gintoki said softly, wearing a gentle expression, “Life is made up of tears. You know, the first thing a person learns when they come into this world is to cry. So… any kind of tears aren’t strange, whether they’re tears of sadness, tears of joy, or even tears for no reason at all…”
“Gin-san…” Shinpachi stared blankly at Gintoki, murmuring in a daze.
Gintoki continued, “Or maybe you suddenly realized how miserable your life is, just like that of a bespectacled idiot, and you’re crying out of despair. That’s not strange at all.”
“I’ll kill you, you naturally curly bastard!” Shinpachi exploded in rage, grabbing Gintoki by the collar and shaking him violently, veins bulging on his forehead, “Who has a miserable life like a bespectacled idiot?! And what kind of description is ‘bespectacled idiot’?! Are you talking about me?! Are you talking about me?! You with your miserable naturally curly hair!”
“Hey! Did you just call me a naturally curly bastard twice?! You definitely said it twice!” Gintoki’s forehead veins also bulged as he stood up, grabbing Shinpachi by the collar, “Do you want to die?! Do you want to die?! You bespectacled idiot with a more miserable life than any bespectacled idiot!!”
“Is my entire life just being a bespectacled idiot?!” Shinpachi’s anger intensified, “Apologize! Apologize to me and my not-at-all-bespectacled life! Apologize now!”
Gintoki gritted his teeth, retorting, “You apologize! Apologize to me and my not-at-all-miserable naturally curly hair! One hundred times… no, just commit seppuku! You bespectacled idiot!”
“When a person comes into this world… the first thing they learn is to cry…” Kagura murmured, her head lowered, “So… what’s the first thing humans see or seek when they come into this world?”
“Huh? What are you talking about, Kagura?” Gintoki looked at her strangely, “That’s not something you’d say…”
“Yeah, Kagura-chan, what’s wrong?” Shinpachi asked, concerned, “Are you too hungry? We just ate. Are you sick?”
“I don’t know…” Kagura shook her head, pressing her hand to her chest, “But… it hurts so much here.”
“Heart disease?!” Gintoki panicked, quickly carrying Kagura on his back and shouting at Shinpachi, “Shinpachi! Call an ambulance! Quickly! And notify that guy to pay the medical bills!”
“Leave it to me!” Shinpachi ran towards the restaurant counter but stopped and turned back, adjusting his glasses, “Gin-san, what’s that guy’s phone number? And… who is that guy?”
After a long silence, Gintoki replied softly, “Who knows…”
“Oppai,” Kagura suddenly said from Gintoki’s back.
“Huh? Oppai? What nonsense are you talking about?” Gintoki puzzled. You must be delirious. You don’t have those.”
Instantly, Kagura’s expression changed, veins bulging on her forehead as she angrily threw Gintoki to the ground, hitting and kicking him hard.
Unlike Kagura and Gintoki, who fought in the restaurant, Shinpachi frowned thoughtfully.
“Oppai… life…” Shinpachi murmured, “The first thing humans see in this world is oppai… That’s right! It’s oppai! Gin-san, Kagura-chan, that’s it! It’s oppai!”
But the two ignored Shinpachi’s shout, still engrossed in their fight, with Katsura cheering.
“Captain! That’s right! Hit there harder!” Katsura encouraged Kagura.
“But… who said that?” Shinpachi pondered again, “It’s strange, why can’t I remember?”
…
After the commotion ended, Gintoki and the others left the restaurant.
Watching Katsura’s figure gradually disappear into the distance, Gintoki sighed in mild frustration, “That guy really likes to cause trouble…”
“But what was that message about?” Shinpachi wondered.
“Probably just a prank,” Gintoki replied casually.
“I don’t know if it’s just my imagination…” Shinpachi mumbled, thinking hard, “But it feels like something’s missing, not just by Katsura-san’s side, but with us too… like something’s missing…”
“Indeed…” Gintoki agreed, then clutched his head in pain, groaning, “Ouch, ouch… my head…”
“Are you okay?” Shinpachi asked, concerned, then noticed something, “When did we get these injuries?”
“You two have been brain-damaged since birth,” Kagura said, spreading her hands in mock helplessness.
…
In the afternoon, at a commercial port in Edo.
“Ahahaha, ahahaha…” Sakamoto, also with bandages on his forehead, laughed, rubbing his messy hair, “Thanks for your care, Gin-san.”
Standing before Sakamoto, Gintoki smirked, “I don’t remember taking care of you, and my name isn’t Gin-san.”
“Is that so?” Sakamoto scratched his head, then corrected himself, “Then it must have been me taking care of you.”
“No, that’s even more impossible.” Gintoki retorted without hesitation.
“Although I’m not sure, it feels like the end of a great war.” Sakamoto rubbed his head, speaking casually but frowning slightly as if trying to recall something, “It’s like we struggled desperately to retrieve something…”
As he spoke, Sakamoto looked at his hand, “But I’m not even sure if we got it back. Gin-san, did we forget something important?”
“It must be my name,” Gintoki quipped, then glanced at the suspiciously adorned spaceship behind Sakamoto, “Did your ship always have such bad taste?”
Sakamoto finally realized it and shouted, “Ah! Mutsu! Did you modify my ship again?!”
“Well, I’m heading back,” Gintoki waved and turned to leave.
“Wait, Gin-san.” Sakamoto called after him.
“It’s Gintoki,” Gintoki sighed, turning around with dead fish eyes, “What now?”
“Take this,” Sakamoto said, pulling out a blood-stained book titled “The Story of X” and handing it to Gintoki. I don’t remember when I wrote it, but I did write this novel. The autograph is on the first page.”
“Who wants something like that?!” Gintoki snapped, but then he took the book and tucked it into his chest. “After reading too many magazines, a novel might be nice. Thanks.”
“Ahahaha, I’ll kill you.” Sakamoto replied, “It’s not that kind of novel, it’s a regular love story.”
“Don’t worry, I understand.” Gintoki patted Sakamoto’s shoulder, “I understand these things. When explaining to others, just say it’s a regular love story. But taking this novel, should my character change? Should I wear a headband and a mask? But what about the Sharingan?”
“Gin-san, do you know Kawaki?” Sakamoto suddenly asked.
“Huh? Who?”
“The protagonist in my novel. It’s strange, it feels like I’ve seen this name somewhere…”
“You said it yourself, it’s the protagonist in your novel,” Gintoki looked annoyed.
“No, I mean…” Sakamoto clutched his head, screaming in pain, “No… no! Thinking about it hurts so much!”
“Kawaki…?” Gintoki frowned, thoughtful.
…
At dusk, Gintoki, Sakamoto, and Mutsu, all with downcast expressions, met Kagura and Shinpachi, who also had downcast expressions, at the entrance to Yoshiwara.
No one spoke. They silently gathered and walked into Yoshiwara, heading in a specific direction.
But along the way, Shinpachi’s peripheral vision caught something. He ignored it the first time, but the second time he saw something familiar, he stopped and looked.
After wiping his glasses the third time, Shinpachi was sure he wasn’t dreaming.
“Gin… Gin-san… Ka… Kagura-chan…” Shinpachi pointed with a trembling finger, his voice shaking, “Hey, look, over there… there’s something strange…”
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