Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 584
“Hey, enough…” Mutsu glanced at Shinpachi, frowning, “They’re currently…”
“No, no! There’s really something strange over there!” Shinpachi pointed anxiously. Mutsu-san, just take a look. It’s something very familiar and quite odd! It feels like something we’ve seen recently, even if it’s missing a piece!”
“Tha… that’s…” Mutsu finally saw what Shinpachi was pointing at, an odd object, and quickly turned back to call out to Sakamoto and the others, “Hey! Look over there, Sakamoto!”
“Enough already, Mutsu…” Sakamoto stopped, looking back with lifeless eyes, “Right now, these unimportant things are just…”
“I told you to look over there!” Mutsu angrily kicked Sakamoto and stomped on him, “Lift your head and look properly! You idiot! Fool! Producer!”
“Producer?” Shinpachi interjected, “Why ‘producer’ after ‘idiot’ and ‘fool’?”
“Oh!” Sakamoto finally looked in the direction Mutsu was pointing and exclaimed, “Unbelievable! Gin-san, look! There’s a blonde, wavy-haired lady!”
“I didn’t mean there!” Mutsu stomped on Sakamoto again and lifted him by the collar, “Over there!”
“All I see is a giant robot…” Sakamoto grumbled, “I’m not Kawaki; I don’t like that kind of thing. I prefer that blonde wavy-haired lady over there!”
Sakamoto turned towards a blonde woman waving at him from a shop door and said, “See you after I pay my respects to our friend~.”
“You should be the one being paid respects!” Mutsu, veins bulging on her forehead, threw Sakamoto to the ground with one hand.
Crash! “Ugh!” Sakamoto coughed up blood, rolling his eyes, but weakly added, “Charge it… to Kawaki’s account…”
Even unconscious, Sakamoto couldn’t avoid Mutsu’s continued stomping.
“Mutsu-san,” Shinpachi adjusted his glasses, “Do you have something against Sakamoto’s… area? At this rate, we really will have to pay respects to it…”
“But seriously, why is…” Mutsu looked again at the giant white robot, “Gundam… in Yoshiwara?”
“Mutsu-san, you almost said it… you almost said Gundam…” Shinpachi muttered, then focused on the robot, “I don’t know why the destroyed mechas are here, but if someone could remove the mosaic, there’s only one person I know… that reckless Kawaki-san…”
“So that means…” Mutsu started, but a familiar voice interrupted from ahead.
“Yo, long time no see, Kagura, and Gintoki.” Tsukuyo approached the cigarette holder in hand and greeted them.
Gintoki and Kagura stopped, half-closed their eyes, and stared at the unharmed Tsukuyo.
After several seconds, Gintoki murmured, “Huh?”
“Great, Kagura,” Gintoki said warmly, “Even if that idiot isn’t around, this woman should take responsibility and give you… an allowance every month.”
“Yes!” Kagura beamed, “That’s great!”
“Is that all you can think of?!” Shinpachi shouted, “Is that all you have to say?! Seriously?!”
“What are you talking about, Shinpachi?” Gintoki seriously said, ” our Yorozuya income relies on that idiot giving Kagura allowance! Sadaharu’s dog food, and our monthly trips to the steakhouse… they’re all funded by that allowance!”
“It has nothing to do with you! It’s Kagura’s allowance!” Shinpachi fumed, “What’s with the steakhouse trips? I never knew about those! Did you go without me?”
“Why did you tell him, Gin-san?” Kagura whispered to Gintoki, “We won’t take you next time.”
“Why do I feel like I’m being left out?” Shinpachi sighed, “But now isn’t the time for this!”
“Why is everyone here in Yoshiwara?” Tsukuyo asked impatiently, “Yoshiwara isn’t a place for kids. Go home.”
Shinpachi quickly asked, “Tsukuyo-san, there are many things I want to say, and I don’t know where to start, but… is Kawaki-san… okay? Or is he… still alive?”
“Huh?” Tsukuyo pointed to the mecha, “He’s over there. Whether he’s alive, I don’t know.”
“Huh?” Shinpachi slowly turned to see Kawaki standing on the mecha’s shoulder, looking up at the sky.
“Huh?!”
As Shinpachi struggled to process his feelings, they heard hurried footsteps and Sougo’s voice.
“Boss—! Something’s wrong!” Sougo ran towards Kawaki, shouting, “A meteor! A meteor is about to hit Edo!”
“What?! A meteor?!” Shinpachi panicked, “Okita-san, what’s going on with the meteor? A meteor is coming?”
“Look up!” Sougo replied without turning back.
Shinpachi looked up to see a massive meteor falling like a fireball. “There’s really a meteor! What do we do, Gin-san?! That meteor will destroy all of Edo! We’re going to die!”
“Don’t worry, if it were before, Edo might be doomed, but now…” Sougo looked at Kawaki entering the mecha’s cockpit, “We have Gundam… I mean, Guts-man!”
“Did you just say Gundam?” Shinpachi sighed.
In the cockpit, Kawaki buckled up, eyes severe, and pushed the control lever. The mecha slowly rose.
Through the display, seeing the panicked citizens, Kawaki’s eyes were filled with determination.
“It’s just a meteor! I’ll push it back!” Kawaki controlled the mecha, raising its arms, “Gundam… isn’t just for show!”
“Did he just say Gundam?” Shinpachi sighed again.
…
At dusk, Kawaki emerged from the mecha that had deflected the meteor.
Bathed in the golden light, his dirt-covered face was resolute. A long silence followed from Kawaki and all of Edo.
Finally, he raised his fist high and shouted, “We… won again!”
“Whoa!!!” The entire city erupted in cheers.
But the next moment…
“Victory, my ass!” Shinpachi, Gintoki, and Kagura yelled, kicking Kawaki dozens of meters away.
Bruised and battered, Kawaki got up, smiling and waving, “Yo, long time no see.”
“Long time no see, my ass!” Gintoki roared, veins bulging, “Weren’t you supposed to be dead?! Why are you back, acting like nothing happened?! Why reenact a classic Gundam scene?! Why is there another mecha?!”
“Dead? Who’s dead?” Kawaki asked, confused, while Kagura punched him in the stomach, “Who died?”
“You said you wouldn’t come back to Earth with us!” Shinpachi yelled.
“Yeah, so I didn’t come back with you…” Kawaki pointed to Tsukuyo, “I came back with Tsukuyo.”
“So, what about next month’s allowance?!” Kagura demanded, clenching her fists.
“Ah, that…” Kawaki scratched his head, “I spent it all on this mecha I found in that massage room. It costs a lot to maintain every month, so I have no money left for games. It’s really troubling, ahahaha…”
“You idiot! Don’t say things that can be misunderstood!” Kagura tackled Kawaki, punching him.
“Wait,” Shinpachi interrupted, “Did you find the only intact mecha in SAGI’s base and return to Earth in it with Tsukuyo?”
“Wasn’t that explained clearly?” Tsukuyo replied, puzzled, “I… understood everything.”
“We didn’t!” Shinpachi snapped, “Explain it properly! Everyone thought it was a farewell! Our experience was terrible!”
“Exactly!” Kawaki said, crossing his arms, “I told you the cockpit could only fit one person, but you insisted on squeezing in. My first mecha experience was awful! Tsukuyo!”
“Can I kill him now?” Shinpachi asked Gintoki and Kagura.
“We’re thinking the same thing.” Gintoki and Kagura nodded, cracking their knuckles as they approached Kawaki.
But Katsura’s shout interrupted.
“Kawaki—hey—” Katsura ran over, waving.
Seeing the creature following Katsura, Shinpachi and the others turned expressionless.
“Zura?” Kawaki glanced at Katsura, “Why are you here now?”
“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” Katsura corrected excitedly, “Kawaki! I did it! I made this mecha a symbol of hope for Edo’s people! Now, more than the corrupt government, Edo’s people believe in this mecha! Come, my friend! Let’s save this country together with this symbol of hope for Earth!”
“No one asked you to do that!” Kawaki kicked Katsura. Why did you say such things so naturally? Was the meteor your doing?!”
“That was just part of the plan,” Katsura said, unfazed, “As a substitute for people’s hearts. It’s the fastest method.”
“Katsura-san,” Shinpachi asked, “What’s that behind you?”
“Huh?” Katsura looked back and realized, “Oh! You mean Elizabeth! Hey, Elizabeth, long time no see. Say hello.”
“Long time no see, everyone,” Elizabeth raised a sign.
“Wasn’t Elizabeth supposed to be on a spaceship?” Shinpachi’s eye twitched.
Katsura explained, “Oh! That was the Monday-only standby Elizabeth. This is the real one, back from vacation. Take a closer look, Shinpachi-kun, it should be familiar. Remember the Benizakura Arc…”
Gintoki and the other’s faces dark, fists clenched, silently approached Katsura and Kawaki…
What followed was too gruesome to describe.
In summary… at sunset, the blood of three people… or rather, two people and a machine… stained the entire Yoshiwara.
Waking up in the middle of the night, Kawaki ignored the blood-soaked Katsura, clutching his head and shouting in despair.
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