Maybe a Fake Gintama – Read Fanfic

Kawaki had just finished a lap at the ski resort and concluded with an impressive 360-degree low jump, stopping right in front of Tsukuyo.

“How was that? Pretty amazing, right?” Kawaki lifted his snowboard and raised his eyebrows proudly.

“Super cool, Kawaki-sama!” One of the Hyakka girls shouted excitedly, holding up a camera. “I captured the whole thing! Even the moment you fell and rubbed your head with tears in your eyes, you still looked great, Kawaki-sama!”

“Wow…” Tsukuyo turned her face away with disdain, sarcastically dragging out her words. “That was really impressive~.”

“Hey, delete those photos!” Kawaki said with a blank expression, then crossed his arms and huffed. “It’s normal for beginners to fall once or twice at first. But you, you’ve been here this long and haven’t even started. That’s more surprising.”

With a mischievous grin, Kawaki raised his eyebrows and continued, “Could it be that Tsukuyo is too scared to try because she’s afraid of falling? Just like a little kid~.”

Thud! (Sound of a kunai stabbing) Splat! (Sound of blood spurting) Thud! (Sound of someone falling) “No,” Tsukuyo glanced down at Kawaki, who had fallen face-first into the snow, then stepped on his back several times before settling her foot. “I just hadn’t found the right snowboard, but now I have.”

“You damn woman, I’ll kill you one day…” Kawaki muttered, struggling to lift his head and curse softly.

…

“Relax your body a bit,” Kawaki said, gently holding Tsukuyo’s waist with one hand and guiding her feet with the other. “Keep your legs apart, knees slightly bent. No, you’re too tense! I said relax your body!”

“Relax my body, spread my legs…” Tsukuyo adjusted according to Kawaki’s instructions, then turned her icy gaze to him. “Are you sexually harassing me?”

“Why do you think of it that way? Is it because you’re a woman from Yoshiwara?” Kawaki retorted, exasperated, then scoffed. “Fine, if you don’t want my help, figure it out yourself. You’ll learn after a few falls.”

Kawaki let go of Tsukuyo, and she immediately lost her balance and fell to the ground.

Thud! Watching Tsukuyo fall face-first into the snow, Kawaki couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Hahaha… I told you not to push yourself. Beginners should just use two skis. Why insist on using a snowboard? Are you an idiot? Hahaha… Ugh…”

Thud! Standing up, Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki, who was now lying face-down in the snow with kunai sticking out of his head. Her eyes were filled with disdain.

“This snowboard seems nice. I’ll practice with it.” Tsukuyo stepped onto Kawaki’s back, bending her knees slightly and spreading her legs. “Ready to go…”

“Go where, you damn woman!” Kawaki grumbled as he got up.

“But it feels like it’ll be easier to learn this way…” Tsukuyo pondered.

“Sorry, but I prefer to be on top most of the time,” Kawaki said, raising his hand in refusal. “I can’t accept being ridden by a woman. After all, I like to be the one attacking.”

“What a coincidence, so do I,” Tsukuyo replied coldly.

“Sorry, but I reject my own kind,” Kawaki said with a regretful expression, shaking his head.

After silence, Tsukuyo glanced at the Hyakka members who were having fun.

Seeing Tsukuyo’s look, Kawaki sighed helplessly, stepped forward, and gently held her waist again. “Fine, let’s do this properly.”

Blushing inexplicably, Tsukuyo nodded slightly and tried to follow Kawaki’s guidance, flustered.

Ten minutes later…

“Why do you keep getting it wrong?” Kawaki complained with disdain. “Why can’t you get this simple stance right?”

“It’s…” Feeling Kawaki’s gloved hand on her waist, Tsukuyo became flustered again and shouted, blushing, “It’s all your fault!”

“Huh?!” Kawaki got irritated, glaring at her. “What are you talking about?! Don’t you have any gratitude for me teaching you?! And wasn’t it you all who dragged me out here for this prank?! Enough already!”

“Shut up!” Tsukuyo snapped coldly, then turned to look at a man wearing sunglasses gliding effortlessly on a snowboard. “Can you really ski like that?”

“Yes,” Kawaki nodded, then smiled and raised a finger. But it requires a special method. Do you want to learn, Tsukuyo?”

“I… I don’t mind learning,” Tsukuyo said, blushing slightly.

“Then watch closely.” Kawaki removed his snowboard and aimed it at the sky, preparing to throw it. “First, take the snowboard off like this.”

“Isn’t it supposed to stay on your feet?” Tsukuyo asked, puzzled.

“That regular method won’t work.” Kawaki’s expression changed as he threw the snowboard skyward at a thirty-degree angle. “Second, throw the snowboard forcefully into the sky!”

“Hey, isn’t this getting away from skiing?” Tsukuyo asked, her eyes white with irritation.

“The most important step is the third one!” Kawaki spread his legs slightly and bent his knees. “Get into the stance I taught you, then…”

Jumping up, Kawaki landed perfectly on the airborne snowboard and turned back, raising a finger and smiling. “Just jump onto it like this.”

“What kind of crazy method is this?!” Tsukuyo, who had followed Kawaki onto the snowboard, clung to his scarf and shouted. “Did you learn this from Tao Pai Pai?!”

“Let… Let go,” Kawaki struggled as his scarf tightened around his neck. “I… I can’t breathe. Let go! I’m… I’m suffocating…”

Two minutes later…

Kawaki, kneeling on the snowboard, took several deep breaths and turned to Tsukuyo. “Phew… phew… I almost died. What are you doing, Tsukuyo?! And why are you on the snowboard too? I’m barely managing it by myself.”

“Forget about that…” Tsukuyo pointed at the fast-moving snowboard beneath them. “When can we stop?”

“When we catch up to General Blue…”

“Who is General Blue?”

“I don’t know.”

After an expressionless silence, Tsukuyo grabbed Kawaki’s scarf again, shaking him vigorously. “What do we do now?! We can’t stop if we can’t get down!”

“You followed me up here!” Kawaki retorted, irritated. “It’s not my fault! It’s all your fault for coming up here! Why are you making it sound like it’s my fault? And…”

Kawaki grinned and gave a thumbs-up. “We’re going faster than that guy!”

“Is this the time to be proud?!” Tsukuyo shouted, her spit flying as she shook Kawaki’s collar. “Stop it! Make it stop now!”

“The remote… I left it on the ground.” Kawaki scratched his head and laughed awkwardly. “I was going to let you stop it while on the ground, but you came up here too. Haha… What a mess, haha…”

“Is this the time to be laughing?!”

“Don’t worry, it’ll stop once the fuel runs out.”

“When will that be?!”

“I told you, once we go around the earth once, it’ll be about right,” Kawaki said, shaking his head and laughing. “Tsukuyo, you’re really not that smart, huh?”

“Are you in any position to say that?!” Tsukuyo pulled out a kunai. “I guess I’ll just have to dismantle it.”

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