Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 588

“I advise you not to do that,” Kawaki calmly warned. “When I bought this snowboard, the store clerk did mention that… if you try to dismantle it violently…”

Kawaki raised a finger and smiled, “It will explode~”

Tsukuyo: …

Another five minutes later…

“The ocean! Look, Tsukuyo! Below us is the ocean!” Kawaki pointed down, shouting excitedly at Tsukuyo.

“Is that something to get excited about?!” Tsukuyo retorted angrily, veins popping on her forehead. “We’re in an even worse situation now! Isn’t looking at the ocean from a thousand meters high terrifying? One slip, and we’ll fall to our deaths!”

“Oh!” Kawaki suddenly noticed something. “That woman in a swimsuit on the beach looks nice, and it seems… she doesn’t have a boyfriend…”

“How can you even see that?!”

“Here, you can use this.” Kawaki took a pair of binoculars from his pocket and handed them to Tsukuyo.

Holding the binoculars, Tsukuyo once again fell into a long, expressionless silence.

Another ten minutes passed…

“The altitude is dropping, and the speed is slowing down~” Kawaki mumbled, stroking his chin. “It looks like we’ll land soon. That’s great, Tsukuyo.”

“You’re really a reckless man,” Tsukuyo chuckled lightly.

“Don’t you think this is pretty nice?” Kawaki shrugged. “Plans for a vacation or whatever, those things don’t really matter. The moment you embark on a journey, it’s already a trip to heal your soul. Being tied to plans and worrying about whether others are having fun is very troublesome. I… I prefer this kind of unplanned and reckless journey.”

“You…”

“Anyway, thank you,” Kawaki smiled gently, narrowing his eyes. “This trip… has made me happy.”

For some reason, looking at Kawaki’s expression, Tsukuyo felt, for the first time, that this guy she had known for so long was a little charming.

“A global trip like this must cost a lot of money…” Kawaki said, raising a finger. “So please, when we get back, you can repay me. A million will be enough.”

It was just an illusion. That brief moment was just an illusion. This guy is just an idiot, Tsukuyo thought, holding her forehead and sighing heavily.

…

“We’re back! We’re back!” Kawaki pointed at the snowy ground below, shouting. “We finally made it back!”

“Hey, Kawaki,” Tsukuyo pointed at something a few meters below the snowboard, “there seems to be something…”

“What?” Kawaki asked, peering down. He saw Gintoki and Hijikata riding on two almost naked men as human sleds, with Otae skillfully skiing beside Shinpachi. “Gintoki! Hiji-baka! Otae! Hey, Gintoki, Hiji-baka! Did you guys also get scammed by the rental shop?!”

Seeing the two people flying on a snowboard above them, Gintoki’s face twitched as he muttered expressionlessly, “What the hell is this guy doing? I don’t even know how to react…”

“Oh? Kawaki-san and Tsukuyo-san are here too,” Otae looked up and greeted with a smile. “Hello there.”

“What happened to you guys?” Kawaki asked, confused.

“Isn’t it obvious?!” Gintoki shouted, veins popping on his forehead. “We can’t stop! What the hell is with that ridiculous snowboard you’re on?!”

“Same problem here,” Kawaki replied, glancing at Tsukuyo behind him. “But the fuel is almost out. We’ve circled the globe, right, Tsukuyo?”

“This guy… still as reckless as ever,” Gintoki muttered, lowering his head.

“Can’t stop?” Hijikata raised his head, his face twisted with frustration. “Hey, ever heard of the prostate brake? Heh…”

“Vice-chief is broken! He’s saying perverted things out of character! He’s in give-up mode!” Gintoki spat out furiously.

“Prostate brake?” Tsukuyo glanced at Kawaki’s lower half uncertainly. “Is that even possible?”

“Hey, I’ll really kill you,” Kawaki warned with a blank expression.

At this moment, they heard Kagura’s voice from behind.

“Gin-chan! Are you okay, aru?! Oh? Uncle is here too? Don’t worry! I’ll save you all! Hang in there!”

Seeing the massive snowball speeding towards them, Gintoki’s face turned pale. “Who are you kidding?! You’re obviously the one who needs saving! You can’t even move your arms and legs, can you?!”

“No, I’ll definitely save everyone,” Kagura said seriously.

“I’ll hold on! Kagura!” Kawaki shouted. “Come save me now!”

“This guy is a hopeless idiot too!” Gintoki shouted again.

“Everyone will die anyway,” Kagura’s face suddenly switched to Okita’s, his eyes lifeless. “If you give up, the game is over.”

“Huh?! What?!” Gintoki shouted.

“Don’t be fooled!” Kagura’s face returned. “By your lies, maybe?”

“What’s going on with these two?!” Gintoki shouted again. “Why is it like an angel and a devil talking in my ears?!”

“The situation below looks pretty bad, Tsukuyo,” Kawaki muttered, then turned to Tsukuyo, “Do something… Hey! Stop! Stop now!”

“This seems like the only way to stop it now,” Tsukuyo said, holding a kunai and looking ready to dismantle the snowboard.

“Stop! Stop it now!” Kawaki grabbed his head, screaming in panic. “I’m not joking! The bomb is real! We’ll all die! You’ll blow everyone up! Calm down, Tsukuyo!”

Just then, Kawaki noticed something in the snowball below and looked shocked. “Zura! Why are you here?!”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” Katsura corrected, then smiled lightly. “I just anticipated this and have been waiting in the snowball.”

“Hey, Kagura.” Gintoki called out.

“Okita.” Hijikata called out too.

“Ever heard of the prostate brake?” They both said in unison.

“Huh?” Katsura looked confused for a moment, then started begging. “Wait, Captain, what are you… ah! Wait… ugh!!!”

“It seems to work…” Kawaki mumbled, stroking his chin, then turned to Tsukuyo and smiled, “But it probably won’t work for us… Hey? Tsukuyo? Wait… wait a minute!!!”

Boom!!!

…

After an unknown amount of time, Hijikata slowly regained consciousness, lying in the snow. He opened his eyes and struggled to get up.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Kawaki’s voice came from nearby. “If you’re awake, come help. These guys are buried pretty deep.”

“Ah, it’s you…” Hijikata looked at the nearby Kawaki with an exploded hairstyle, struggled to stand, but then his head throbbed with pain. “No, wait, I remember I was…”

As the Shogun’s guards, we came to the ski resort, and then…

“It seems like your memory is fine, so hurry up and help,” Kawaki said, then pointed to the people buried head-first in the snow. “Thanks to you all, our nice trip turned out like this.”

“Whose fault is that?!” Hijikata retorted angrily. “What was with that explosion at the end?!”

“I don’t know.” Kawaki lied without batting an eye.

“You don’t know my ass! It’s obviously your fault!” Despite his words, Hijikata started helping Kawaki pull people out of the snow. “Shogun! Shogun! Where is the Shogun?!”

“Huh? The Shogun?” After pulling out Kagura and Tsukuyo and placing them aside, Kawaki sat down. “Are you saying the Shogun is here too?”

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