Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 592
“How to do it…” Hijikata naturally answered, “Of course, it’s the belief that we must survive no matter what. If we have that, it should work…”
“No, no, no. Just that alone is not enough.” Akira raised a finger and shook it. “To survive in this extreme weather, that alone is not enough. In this situation, we should…”
Three minutes later…
“What?!” After listening to Akira’s words, Hijikata showed a strange expression. “Imagine?! Imagine it’s a scorching summer?! How can we imagine that when it’s this cold?”
“We’ll talk about that later, but don’t you think this method makes sense?” Akira asked. “If it works, it can at least make us temporarily ignore the cold.”
“It does seem that way…” Hijikata muttered, frowning. “But something feels off…”
“If you can’t think of anything wrong, it’s actually correct!” Sogo chimed in.
Akira snapped his fingers and said, “Exactly! If you can’t think of anything wrong, it proves it’s right!”
“So, what exactly should we do?” Hijikata asked, puzzled. “No matter what, I can’t imagine the heat of summer in this weather.”
“True…” Akira nodded, then began to think, touching his chin. “We need to come up with some memorable summer scenes…”
“I know, I know! The ocean!” Kagura raised her hand and said.
“Good one, Kagura!” Akira praised.
“The beach!” Shinpachi raised his hand and said.
“Nice one, Shinpachi!” Akira praised again.
“Bikinis!” Gintoki raised his hand.
“This guy must have forgotten about the cold! Next!”
“Fireworks… the fireworks festival…” Tsukuyo said uncertainly.
“OUT!!” Akira crossed his arms in an X, “Although that’s correct, that kind of answer doesn’t fit your character! So, OUT!”
As he finished speaking, Akira fell backward, with several kunai on his forehead.
“Watermelons…” Sogo raised his hand.
“Bonus points!” Akira, struggling, raised his thumb, then got up and said, “Alright, with these elements, imagining a hot summer will be easy! Come on, everyone, start imagining those elements! Even if your body doesn’t feel it, let your heart feel the heat!”
“Um, Boss…” Sogo raised his hand, “Just imagining might be a bit difficult. Shouldn’t we practice a bit? It would be easier to grasp the summer feel.”
“True…” Akira nodded in agreement and then turned to Gintoki and Hijikata. “What do you think? Should we play some summer games to feel the summer vibe?”
“If it can increase our chances of survival, it’s worth a try.” Hijikata nodded.
“Then, let’s have you… play the watermelon in the watermelon splitting game…” Akira, Sogo, and Gintoki said in unison with mischievous smiles.
Seeing their sinister smiles, Hijikata realized what was happening and tried to protest but was quickly gagged with a towel by Sogo and tied up by Gintoki with a rope they found.
“Mmm! Mmm!” Hijikata struggled and made muffled sounds.
“Vice Chief is such a good person~,” Sogo said, moved. “Sacrificing himself for us~”
“Yes, we misunderstood you before. Didn’t expect you to be like this.” Gintoki said seriously.
“Mmm! Mmm!” Buried in the snow with only his head exposed, Hijikata cursed them in his mind: Damn you! Remember this! I’ll get you for this!
“The Sadist Trio is amazing…” Shinpachi commented expressionlessly.
“Who will split the watermelon?” Akira raised a stick and a white cloth and asked.
“Let me do it.” Sogo took the stick and cloth from Akira, showing a gentle smile. “Although there were many unpleasant incidents with the Vice Chief, now… at least let me send him off. With this stick in my hand…”
“That’s too naive!” Gintoki took the stick and cloth from Sogo, his expression turning serious. “I should do it! When I was a kid, I could find a watermelon just by its sweetness! Now, I can find his head just by my hatred for his V-shaped bangs!”
“Really?” Shinpachi asked Akira softly.
“No, he’s lying,” Akira replied softly. “When Gintoki was a kid, he claimed he could find a watermelon by its sweetness but ended up falling into the sea and never swam again.”
“So that’s why Gintoki-san can’t swim…”
“Alright! Decided! Gintoki will be the stick handler!” Akira announced with a smile.
“Stop making up non-existent terms,” Tsukuyo coldly reminded.
“All set!” Gintoki, now blindfolded, shouted.
“Wait…” Kagura raised her hand and started thinking, “I feel… something is missing from Gin-san to really feel the summer vibe…”
“Now that you mention it, it does feel that way…” Akira nodded in agreement.
“Indeed, it does feel like that,” Sogo added.
“I’ve got it!” Kagura said, eyes shining. “I know what Gin-san is missing!”
“Coincidentally, we also figured it out!” Akira and Sogo said in unison.
“I have a bad feeling…” Shinpachi muttered, “Something weird is definitely going to happen.”
“Probably…” Tsukuyo agreed softly.
Three minutes later, Gintoki, now stripped to strawberry-patterned boxers and shivering, asked, “Um… Kagura… chan?”
“Perfect now!” Kagura gave a thumbs-up, “You look very summery now!”
“Did we get the Sadist Trio members wrong from the start?” Shinpachi asked Tsukuyo, “These three seem like the official members. Gintoki-san is just a temporary member who can be kicked out anytime. This is too tragic! Too tragic!”
“Gintoki, ready!” Akira waved.
“Boss, left, left.”
“No, you’ve gone too far, right a bit, Gin-san!”
“No, left!”
“Right!”
“It’s so cold I can’t hear what you’re saying!” Gintoki shouted, veins popping.
“Now!!” Akira shouted.
“Whatever, let’s end this farce!” With that, Gintoki swung the stick down hard.
And so… Gintoki, swinging the stick too forcefully, lost his balance and screamed as he fell off the cliff.
“Yare yare, Gintoki is so careless~.”
“Yes, Gin-san is such a klutz~.”
“Hey, Boss—” Sogo leaned over the cliff and shouted, “Still alive down there—?”
Three seconds later, a furious roar came from the bottom of the cliff: “I’ll kill you all!!!”
“Seems he’s fine, that’s good~”
“Why do you sound disappointed, Akira-san?” Shinpachi asked expressionlessly.
Ten minutes later…
Gintoki, now dressed and shivering with frozen snot hanging from his nose, chattered, “It’s… your turn now!” He glared at Akira and the others.
“Right! Your turn now!” Hijikata agreed with Gintoki this time.
“What turn?” Akira looked confused.
“Don’t play dumb! It’s your turn to feel the summer vibe!” Gintoki shouted, veins popping.
“No, regarding that…” Akira raised a finger, smiling, “We all denied that crazy method. It didn’t work~.”
Hearing this, Gintoki and Hijikata’s veins popped again.
“Yes, no effect at all~” Kagura nodded but then looked puzzled, “But why didn’t it work?”
“Probably because our imagination wasn’t strong enough.” Sogo analyzed.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Akira and Kagura nodded in agreement.
“Can I kill them?” Gintoki asked Hijikata as he stood up, face dark.
“Funny, I was about to ask the same.” Hijikata replied, standing up as well.
Then, the two charged at Akira’s group with a roar. But just then, Katsura’s voice came from nearby.
“Everyone, over here,” Katsura, wearing two large snowballs, waved. It’s not the time to fight. I found a snow cave. Come on.”
“Katsura, who said you could move freely?” Sogo frowned.
“I’m getting used to this body,” Katsura replied, pointing to a cave not far away, “I found this cave while investigating.”
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