Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 597
In the men’s bath.
Watching Kawaki lean back against the edge of the hot spring, staring blankly at the ceiling with lifeless eyes, Sougo asked, “Boss, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Nothing…” Kawaki replied softly, then lowered his head and glanced in Sougo’s direction. “Humans are truly peculiar creatures. Just stay silent for a bit, and others will assume you’re deep in thought.”
“Boss, you’re really strange sometimes,” Sougo remarked with rare sarcasm.
“I’m bored…” Kawaki sighed deeply, raising his face again to gaze at the ceiling.
“Then why didn’t you just say you were zoning out because you were bored?” Shinpachi chimed in, narrowing his eyes and making a blank-faced comment.
“No,” Kawaki exhaled lightly and softly refuted, “even when zoning out, you’re usually thinking about something specific, but just now, I wasn’t thinking about anything.”
Sougo, seeming to catch on to something, raised a finger and explained, “To put it another way, it’s like being in deep sleep without dreaming.”
“Yeah, probably…” Kawaki replied calmly, then flipped over and lay on the edge of the bath. “But I’m still so bored~”
“Then let’s talk about something interesting!” Shinpachi suddenly got an idea and raised a finger, suggesting, “How about we discuss dreams? Like what Sougo-san mentioned earlier!”
“Huh?” Sougo raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t this the time for men to talk about women?”
“Come on, give him a break,” Kawaki closed his eyes, pretending to grumble. “For Shinpachi-kun, women are only a topic in his dreams.”
“Hey! That’s too harsh!” Shinpachi retorted, glaring. “Why can I only talk about women in my dreams?!”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Kawaki and Sougo replied in unison.
“You two…!!” Shinpachi clenched his fists, gritting his teeth, then sighed, deflating like a balloon. “Fine, let’s talk about any interesting dreams we’ve had recently.”
“Dreams, huh?” Sougo pondered, rubbing his chin. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes, which were filled with mischief, “I dreamed about choosing a coffin for Hijikata-san, who had ‘accidentally’ died. A red coffin… with the paint not fully dried yet…”
“Somehow, I feel like that ‘accident’ wasn’t an accident…” Shinpachi muttered, half-closing his eyes, then continued, “Alright, my turn! So, I dreamed about…”
Seeing Shinpachi’s somewhat disgusting expression and awkward posture, Kawaki raised his hand expressionlessly to cut him off. “That’s enough. Just seeing your face, I can tell it was a gross dream.”
“Why does it have to be a gross dream?!” Shinpachi blushed, glaring in frustration. “It could’ve been a normal dream! A typical dream that any guy would have!”
Ignoring Shinpachi’s protest, Kawaki closed his eyes, crossed one arm over his chest, and rubbed his chin with the other, thinking.
“A recent dream, huh…” Kawaki murmured as he suddenly remembered something. He opened his eyes and, with a slightly flat tone, said, “I dreamed I was walking at night, and it felt like something was following me, but when I turned around, there was nothing there. Still, I could sense something, or rather, many things following me… so many presences…”
Hearing Kawaki’s emotionless voice, Shinpachi felt a chill run through his body despite being in the steamy hot spring. He instinctively wrapped his arms around himself.
Kawaki continued, describing his dream, “…I went back to my room, played games until late, then took a bath and went to bed. When I woke up, the dream ended. But then I wondered, what was the dream, and what was reality? Maybe even now, I’m still dreaming…”
“Stop!” Shinpachi, trembling uncontrollably, quickly shouted, “Stop with that dream already! It’s so cold! Even in a hot spring, I feel like ice is forming in my heart! The whole atmosphere in the men’s bath has turned dark!”
Ignoring Shinpachi’s outburst, Kawaki continued to ponder, “If it wasn’t a dream, then maybe I should get those two shikigami custom coffins when I get back. But do shikigami even need coffins? Maybe it’s fine just leaving them as they are? And were they really dead in that state?”
“Were they just stalkers?!” Shinpachi retorted again, wide-eyed. “Why did you turn a stalker encounter into such a creepy story?! And are Odawara-san and Kuzuha-san okay? What exactly did you do to them?!”
“Do you think that kind of scene would even be allowed in a story? If I mentioned it, it would definitely get censored!” Kawaki shouted in mock seriousness.
“This guy definitely did something dangerous…” Shinpachi muttered. “Probably something way worse than how Gin-san or my sister would deal with stalkers… by a lot.”
Splash!
“Alright,” Kawaki stood up from the water, wrapped a towel around his waist, and stretched his shoulders and neck a bit. “Let’s eat something, have some hot sake, and sleep. I just hope they have the kind of sake I like here…”
“I’m in too…” Sougo said as he stood up and stepped out of the bath, glancing at Kawaki’s back and thinking to himself, Boss’s body doesn’t have a single scar… Is it because of the Yato physiology?
“Wait for me.” Shinpachi also stood up and followed them out of the bath.
…
Dressed in the dark blue yukatas provided by the inn, the three men had just stepped out of the men’s changing room when they heard the voices of the innkeeper and someone else… or rather, several others, arguing at the end of the hallway.
“My apologies, but as I’ve already mentioned multiple times, the inn has been fully booked. I’m very sorry, but I must ask you to leave,” the burly innkeeper at the entrance kept apologizing to Hijikata and Gintoki in front of him.
“Are you kidding me?!” Hijikata, veins popping, whispered angrily, then pointed behind him at Shige Shige, who was standing with Kondo. “Do you know who this man is?! He’s… well, someone very important! Hurry up and check us in! You should feel honored to serve a guest like this!”
“My deepest apologies…” Gintoki covered his mouth with his hand, revealing a sly smile, “The place is booked, so you’d better leave. Even the police and that important person can’t force the innkeeper, right? It wouldn’t be good to get a reputation for oppressing ordinary folks~.”
“Actually, that includes you as well…” the innkeeper reminded Gintoki.
“No! I’m not like these guys!” Gintoki folded his arms, looking smug, then leaned in and whispered into the innkeeper’s ear, “I’m actually with the group that booked the place. I just arrived a little late…”
“No, I don’t know this guy.” Kawaki, who had just arrived, spoke up mercilessly. “Please hurry and throw this dirty silver-haired perm out.”
“Do you want to fight, you bastard?!” Gintoki’s face instantly contorted with anger as he yelled, clenching his teeth.
“The snow outside looks pretty nice,” Kawaki pointed out the door. “It matches the color well.”
“Sir…” The innkeeper looked at Kawaki with some concern.
“Hey, Yoshiwara guy,” Kondo, still shivering in just his shorts, pointed to the neatly dressed Shige Shige and whispered, “Over here, look over here.”
“Long time no see, Kawaki-san,” Shige Shige greeted with a smile.
“Oh! It’s you!” Kawaki said in surprise, then suddenly remembered something and rubbed his head with a chuckle, “Sorry, sorry, I forgot that I promised to take you to Yoshiwara yesterday. Hahaha…”
“Why didn’t you recognize the Shogun after he put on clothes?” Hijikata muttered under his breath. “And why did you promise something like that earlier?”
“Uh…” Kawaki rubbed his chin, trying to remember, “Little… little… what was your name again?”
“Just call me Little Shogun, Kawaki-san,” Shige Shige replied with a gentle expression.
“That’s right! Little Shogun!” Kawaki clapped his hands together. “Sorry about earlier, but next time we go to Yoshiwara, I can get you a discount!”
“No, that won’t be necessary.” Shige Shige shook his head slightly, a bit of sentiment in his voice. “After all, the courtesans need to make a living too. We shouldn’t reduce their earnings.”
“You… you’re a good guy!” Kawaki pretended to wipe away nonexistent tears. “I’m so moved!”
“Alright, enough with the nonsense!” Hijikata whispered urgently. “Little Shogun has been freezing outside all day! Let him into the inn already!”
“As an apology, let him in,” Kawaki smiled, eyes narrowing.
A minute later, Gintoki, Hijikata, and Kondo stood outside in the snowstorm, expressionless, watching Kawaki, who was now chatting casually with Little Shogun, walk away. Sougo and Shinpachi were also joining in on the conversation, leaving the trio in silent disbelief.
“Wa—Wait!!” Gintoki and Hijikata shouted in unison.
“What’s up?” Kawaki stopped and turned back, looking puzzled.
“Why are you only letting Little Shogun in?! There’s another poor soul here who’s been freezing all day!” Gintoki pointed to himself, veins popping as he yelled.
“Huh? Is there?” Kawaki looked around, puzzled. “Sougo-kun, Shinpachi-kun, did you see any poor freezing child?”
Sougo shrugged, palms up, “I didn’t see anyone.”
“Neither did I,” Shinpachi answered honestly.
“You guys betrayed us too fast!” Hijikata shouted, wide-eyed in fury.
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