Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 61
Looking at Otsuu-chan’s aggrieved little eyes, Goemon said again, “Don’t worry-gozaru. Once it dies down, we can meet again every day-gozaru!”
After saying that, Goemon put his hand on the table.
“Goemon-san…” Otsuu-chan said as she placed her hand on Goemon’s hand.
Kawaki and the others who had witnessed the entire process did not say a word. However, it was not as if there was no reaction. Shinpachi had a face that was hard to let go of, while Kawaki had a subtle expression on his face.
“Hey? What’s with that, gozaru? Why can’t he speak properly and add those strange things? Didn’t the teacher teach him how to speak when he was in school?” Kawaki was a little mad, “Ah! It’s so painful! It seems I need to help him change that crazy catchphrase! Ah, I can’t hold it any more!”
As he spoke, Kawaki was about to rush out, but he was firmly held back by Gintoki and Shinpachi.
“What’s going on? Why does Kawaki-san have this kind of eccentricity?” Shinpachi asked Gintoki, who was beside him.
“This guy has been obsessed with cleanliness since he was young! In the war, he also asked all his team members to speak cleanly! This guy is this kind of person!” Gintoki said as he pulled Kawaki.
“Didn’t your mother teach you not to add those superfluous catchphrases?! One sentence is more than a few words! As the protagonist, I hate this kind of person the most! Can’t you give me the extra word number? Bastard!”
“Hey! So this is the truth!” Shinpachi complained.
“Then, I also…” Kagura was a little lost.
“Don’t worry! Aru can do it! The readers love it the most! You don’t have to change it!” Kawaki said decisively.
“Hey, is that true-aru?” Kagura said.
“Why don’t I try adding aru as well? What do you think?” Gintoki continued.
“The author will probably arrange for you to finish this story if you really want to add aru to the end of the sentence…” Shinpachi replied.
“Why is there a difference in treatment?!” Gintoki roared.
“Hey, why is the topic getting more and more out of hand!” Shinpachi reminded. At the same time, he looked at Goemon and Otsuu-chan, “That man is getting ready to leave!”
“Hmph, in the end, they will definitely kiss goodbye. I have experience in this kind of thing,” Kawaki continued, “Just like the couples in school, they get together in pairs downstairs in the dormitory at night. [You go up first~ I will watch you leave~], [Ah, let me watch you leave~], [No~ I will see you leave~], [What are you saying~ Be good, go up quickly~], [Then kiss~ (shy face)] Finally…”
“Ah! Don’t say anymore! I already have a whole picture!” Shinpachi covered his ears, “Why do you know so clearly! Why did it look so vivid!”
“Gintoki was like this when he was in school!” Kawaki answered without thinking.
“What nonsense are you talking about!” Gintoki was unhappy when he heard it, “Don’t randomly add something non-existent memories to others! And this is clearly the situation when a failed author went to college!”
[A certain author]: Alright, the next preview: The death of Shiroyasha!
Just as everyone was making a ruckus, no one noticed that a black shadow appeared in the corner behind everyone. It was pure black, just like the suspect in the Conan crew next door, or rather, the Black Zetsu in Naruto crew next door…
In the studio, Otsuu-chan was facing the photographer in a bikini.
“Hey, hey, there really aren’t many pieces of meat. Do you really like this kind of girl that much?” Kawaki looked at Shinpachi beside him, “In Yoshiwara, I can introduce you to a lot of big girls with good figures, Shinpachi.”
However, Shinpachi did not react at all when he heard this.
He still stared at Otsuu-chan without moving.
“Don’t worry about him. Boys of this age like girls of this style.” Gintoki said from the side.
“Why is it you again?” Terakado Ichi(Otsuu-chan’s mother and manager) turned to look at Kawaki and the others, “What’s the matter this time?”
“Otsuu-chan seems to have been threatened. She asked us to be bodyguards and solve the problem,” Shinpachi replied.
Terakado Ichi sighed and said, “Otsuu does such an insignificant thing again…”
“Hey, what do you mean?” Shinpachi sensed that something was wrong.
“Receiving one or two threat letters is a common occurrence for a celebrity. If everyone cares about it, how can they continue to survive in this industry?” Terakado Ichi replied.
“But, weren’t you the one who showed the threat letter to Otsuu-chan?”
“I just wanted to use this as a warning for her to pay attention to her position. In the end, everything was in vain.” Terakado Ichi said as she looked at Otsuu-chan who was in a photoshoot, “What will happen to this child in the future because of those scandals? However, you can continue, but don’t get in the way.”
“Do we really have to do this?” Kawaki asked with a frown.
“This method is already the fastest method. Make use of all conditions. Didn’t the teacher teach us this before?” Gintoki replied.
“Really? Did he really teach us? Are you sure you didn’t just copy the lines from somewhere?” Kawaki asked, “Also, it wouldn’t be too bad… For that little girl and Shinpachi… grabbing the woman the kohai likes and so on…”
Finally, Shinpachi noticed that something was wrong, “Hey! What are you guys discussing? Why can I hear an NTR plot?”
“Ah, isn’t this the most efficient method?” Gintoki explained. At the same time, he pointed at Kawaki’s face and continued, “This face, no matter how you look at it, is better than that ass… That Goemon, isn’t it? Let Kawaki seduce her… get Otsuu-chan. Doesn’t this also mean that Otsuu-chan has broken up with that Goemon? In the end, if Kawaki abandons Otsuu-chan, won’t Otsuu-chan return to being single again? You don’t have to be so tangled. This is all for your own good!”
“We all know. You are very dissatisfied with that Goemon, right? This is killing two birds with one stone. After this, Otsuu-chan will definitely not receive any more threat letters. Moreover, Otsuu-chan has returned to being single. You won’t be so depressed.”
“Hey! You should also consider Otsuu-chan’s feelings! How can that kind of thing be possible! And…” As he spoke, Shinpachi looked at Otsuu-chan on the other side, “As long as Otsuu-chan feels happy, I will be fine…”
However, Kawaki and Gintoki did not hear what Shinpachi said at all. They were still discussing the feasibility of the plan.
“Hey! Listen to people! You two!” Shinpachi roared again, “Why don’t you let Kawaki-san hook up… with the anchor Ketsuno and let her have a divorce! Think about it from another perspective, you bastard!”
“If he dares, I will abolish his [weapon]!” Gintoki’s eyes shone with a fierce light.
“Eh? Anchor Ketsuno? Who is that?” Kawaki sensed that something was wrong.
“That’s Gin-chan’s favorite weather forecaster-aru. Gin-chan has to watch it every morning.” Kagura raised her hand and replied, “But today, the news announced that Ketsuno is already married…”
“Gintoki, you…” Kawaki could not believe it.
“So, this method is not allowed! No!” Shinpachi scolded with his hands on his waist.
“Actually, there is another method!” Kawaki raised his hand and said, “Destroy all the [Weapons] of all the men beside Otsuu-chan!”
“Hey! This is a little better than the last method!” Shinpachi shouted.
“You are too double standard! How is it better than the last method?! I can’t tell at all!” Gintoki retorted.
“All in all, let’s investigate the people around Otsuu-chan first. We’ll do the screening one by one, and finally screen out the people who are most likely to do such a thing,” Shinpachi said.
“You’re so amazing. You can come up with such a good method so easily. You must be a genius in detective games!” Kawaki praised.
“Isn’t this the most basic method” Shinpachi was a little speechless, “Well, let’s investigate first!”
After a few days of tracking and investigation, everyone finally locked onto a few suspects.
“These few are the most suspicious people.” Shinpachi pointed to a few photos on the table.
“First of all, talent actor Tamo-san, a multi-talented entertainer who is proficient in everything.” Shinpachi pointed at a photo and said, “Otsuu-chan says he wears a toupe, so he has a grudge against her.”
“This person looks familiar.” Kawaki picked up Tamo’s photo and continued, “Where did I see him?”
“The hos of that Pet Competition is him.” Shinpachi reminded.
“Hey, hey, they look exactly the same!” Kawaki clapped his hands. In an instant, two Hyakka members appeared in Yorozuya. Kawaki handed the photos to the two of them, “Do it cleanly and don’t be discovered.”
“What do it cleanly!” Shinpachi hurriedly stopped him, “Are you trying to get rid of him directly? He’s just a suspect! There’s no need to do this!”
“What are you talking about, Shinpachi? Since we’ve found so many suspects, it’ll be too troublesome to investigate them one by one. Why don’t we just get rid of them all?” Kawaki waved his hand and continued, “After this, if Otsuu-chan can still receive threat letters, then it proves that these few are not real criminals. This is an elimination method. Remember it well. Moreover, this guy owes us a grand prize. If we don’t get revenge…”
“Hey! It’s just a personal grudge! And what kind of elimination method is this! It will become a series of murders!” Shinpachi retorted again, and at the same time, he took back the photo in the hands of the Hyakka member, “In short, investigate first, and finally lock on. This is the correct order!”
“Hey, it’s so troublesome. Is there no convenient way? I really don’t have any energy in this kind of game that follows the rules.” Kawaki said and lay on the sofa…
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