Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 612

While Kawaki was fully immersed in watching the final Evangelion movie, wide-eyed and clutching his popcorn, the situation at the Takamagahara host club was becoming increasingly tense.

Of course, “tense” might be putting it mildly. It was more like things were spiraling out of control, slightly different from what Gintoki and the others had anticipated…

It all started when the members of the Yagyuu clan, dressed in drag, began arguing with Saigou’s crew of crossdressers. For some unknown reason, the argument between the Yagyuu clan and Saigou’s crossdressers escalated quickly.

“Hey! Which clinic did you get your work done at?” Higashimura, wrapped only in a towel, snarled at the crossdresser in front of him.

“Huh? Takasu Clinic, you idiot!”

“You punk! My senior got his vasectomy at Takasu too! You wanna go?!” Higashimura shot back, not backing down.

Watching the two groups of men glaring at each other with hostility, Shinpachi couldn’t help but shout, “It’s like a gang war bragging about their favorite clinics! This is bad! Someone stop them already!”

Meanwhile, overwhelmed and exhausted, Toshiro yelled at Otae and Kagura, who were carrying a giant wooden board, “What are you two doing? Get over here and help with the guests!”

“Shut up! We’re working on it!” Kagura snapped back, clearly irritated and losing her patience.

With that, Otae and Kagura placed the massive wooden board in front of the Yagyuu clan and Saigou’s crossdressers.

“Thank you for waiting,” they said in unison, “Here’s your host sashimi platter.”

The board was adorned with Kondo and Hasegawa, both completely pixelated to maintain some dignity. Everyone present fell silent momentarily, and Kondo and Hasegawa, feeling awkward under the stares, turned their faces away.

In the next instant, chaos erupted in Takamagahara. Bottles, tables, sofas—anything that could be used as a weapon were thrown around by both the crossdressers and the Yagyuu clan members.

Watching the chaos unfold, Shinpachi yelled at the top of his lungs, “You’re just making it worse!”

“Someone stop them! We need a plan!” Toshiro shouted in desperation.

“What plan?! There’s no way to stop this…” Shinpachi panicked, then suddenly brightened up as an idea struck him. “Wait! Kyoshiro-san!”

But before he could do anything, he noticed Kyoshiro, eyes rolled back and unconscious, in the same compromising position as Kondo and Hasegawa. Shinpachi’s words froze, and his expression went blank.

After a few seconds of silence, Shinpachi clutched his head and screamed in frustration, “Kyoshiro-san—! It’s over! We can’t entertain the Madam now!”

“Damn it! What are we going to do?!” Toshiro was at his wit’s end.

At that moment, a loud crash echoed as something heavy slammed into the floor, and Saigou roared, “Shut up!!”

Everyone froze as they saw the table embedded in the floor. After a few swift sword slashes, the bottles held by the Yagyuu clan shattered utterly, bringing the chaos to a halt.

“You don’t realize you’re causing trouble for the host, do you?” Saigou said, his eyebrows furrowed in anger as he clapped his hands and crossed his arms. “There’s a limit to how much fun you can have.”

With that, Saigou turned and walked away. Kyuubei followed, leaving behind a simple “The party’s over.”

As they passed Shinpachi and Toshiro, Saigou added, “Sorry for the trouble…”

Watching the crossdressers and the Yagyuu clan exit, Shinpachi still couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed.

“He got everyone to stop in an instant… He’s truly a monster.”

Finally regaining his composure, Toshiro lit a cigarette and muttered, “Well, at least now we can…”

Before he could finish, Saigou, seated in a booth with a large mug of beer, cheerfully announced, “Alright, now that it’s quiet again, let’s keep drinking.”

Next to him, Kyuubei held up her beer mug, and nearby, Sarutobi Ayame was blindfolded and suspended in mid-air, with a bottle of sake dangling in front of her.

“Cheers!” the three of them shouted.

Seeing this, Toshiro and Shinpachi were at a loss, their mouths hanging open in shock.

“Why are you still here?!” they both screamed internally.

Meanwhile, Gintoki, who had been trying to sneak away amidst the chaos, saw an opportunity to slip out unnoticed.

“Perfect… I’ll just…”

But before Gintoki could finish his thought, he was stopped by a woman’s voice at the door.

“Excuse me,” said the Night God Madam—a young woman dressed in a high-class black gown with a black hat and a choker around her neck. She stood at the entrance, addressing Gintoki, “I had a reservation. My name is Yagami.”

Seeing this woman, who belonged to a different world, Gintoki’s mouth dropped open, and he felt a sense of dread.

“Yagami? Could it be…?” Gintoki thought, his eye twitching.

“Does he still remember?” Yagami Madam removed her hat, revealing a face with an expressionless demeanor. “The promise we made. Can you tell him that Yagami is here?”

“The Madam is here—!” Gintoki panicked, “And of all times, it’s now! The monsters are still partying! If I don’t think of a way to escape, I’ll definitely get caught up in something big!”

With an excuse already forming in his mind, Gintoki quickly raised his hand and lied, “Sorry, but the manager isn’t here right now…”

He then turned to leave, “I’ll… I’ll go get him right away—!”

But before he could escape, a hand suddenly grabbed the back of his collar, pulling him back.

“Don’t worry, GIN,” Toshiro said, his phone in hand as if he had just made a call. He smiled wickedly, “I just got in touch with the manager.”

“While we wait for him, why don’t you have a drink?” Shinpachi smiled at the Night God Madam and gestured to the seats, “Please, come this way.”

Gintoki’s face twitched with anger as he silently cursed them in his mind, “You bastards!!”

“You think you can ditch us and run?!” Toshiro glared at Gintoki, veins bulging.

Shinpachi widened his eyes and gave Gintoki a determined look, “Let’s all entertain the Madam together.”

“Don’t… Don’t mess with me!” Gintoki’s bloodshot eyes glared back, “What do you mean ‘together’?! Where is the manager?! There’s no way to recover from this! Do you know what will happen if we let the Madam join those wild drunken brawlers? It’ll be like throwing a chair into a group of Jackie Chans! She’ll be treated like a circus prop, and in the end, her head will get bashed in!”

“Don’t worry, Kyoshiro-san will come back. He’ll definitely cross that world line and return!” Shinpachi reassured with a determined gaze before smiling back at the Madam, “Please, follow us over here…”

“No,” the Madam finally spoke again, “I’m… not here to see Kyoshiro-san.”

“Huh?” The three of them froze in confusion, and turned blank-faced toward the Madam.

“What did you just say?” they asked in unison, still expressionless.

“The person… isn’t here?” The Madam glanced around the club.

“Who exactly?” Shinpachi adjusted his glasses. “Wait a minute, Madam Yagami, the person you’re referring to is…”

“I don’t know his real name,” the Madam shook her head slightly, “I only know his host name… KOU.”

“It’s… It’s that idiot, isn’t it?!” Gintoki and Shinpachi simultaneously panicked.

“KOU? Who’s that?” Toshiro asked, puzzled, looking between Gintoki and Shinpachi.

“It’s Kawaki-san! Toshiro-san,” Shinpachi whispered.

“Huh?” Toshiro blinked in confusion and then whispered back, “That guy? Huh? Wait, isn’t that guy from Yoshiwara? What does he have to do with hosts? Huh?”

“Kawaki-san… occasionally comes here to mess around,” Shinpachi explained quietly.

“He really isn’t here,” the Madam sighed, looking slightly disappointed as she continued, “But I guess it makes sense. For someone like me, making a promise like that… There’s no reason for him to care. The fool… was me, wasn’t it?”

“This is bad, Gin-san! Even though she came for Kawaki-san, this situation is completely out of our control! The Madam is definitely angry now!”

“Calm down, Shinpachi!” Gintoki tried to reassure him with a look, “It doesn’t matter if that idiot is here or not! If he were here, things would be even worse!”

“But the Madam clearly came here specifically for Kawaki-san!” Shinpachi argued back.

“Anyway, I’ll go to Yoshiwara. In the meantime, you guys stall her!”

“No way!” Toshiro immediately grabbed Gintoki’s shoulder, “You’re just trying to dump this on us and run, aren’t you? Stay right here! Just call him on the phone! That guy has a phone, right?”

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