Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 618
Seeing Suzuran coughing profusely and breaking out in a cold sweat, Kawaki’s forehead slowly developed several black lines. Without a word, he turned to leave, raising his hand in farewell, saying, “Sorry, I just remembered I left the lights on in my room. I need to go check on that—can’t let energy be wasted, after all. Mother Earth has it hard enough as it is, with all these evil Saiyans, evil aliens, and even Majins and androids…”
“Don’t worry, I turned off all the lights,” Hinowa said, tugging on the hem of Kawaki’s clothes and smiling. “And even if Earth were destroyed, there’s always the Dragon Balls on Namek, right? No need to worry.”
Are you messing with me?! Kawaki thought, veins bulging as he gritted his teeth and glared at Hinowa. Can this woman even be called an oiran anymore? This flower withered fifty years ago! All that’s left is a fragile stem, ready to give back to Mother Earth!
At that moment, Suzuran finally stopped coughing and spoke with pride, “Even at my age, I won’t lose to young people when it comes to those skills… cough, cough…”
As Kawaki watched Suzuran’s dentures fly out from her mouth and land on her behind, his forehead and eyes went completely black.
…
Sitting cross-legged at a small sake table, Kawaki’s face remained expressionless, with a dark cloud hanging over him. Across from him, Hinowa smiled warmly. Suzuran stood beside Kawaki, holding onto an IV pole, her eyes squinting as she tried to recognise his face.
“Come, come, please join me, savior… Huh? Who might you be again?”
“Just a passerby, completely innocent and tricked by an old man and an old lady working together. My name doesn’t matter; I don’t deserve the title of savior.” Kawaki replied, keeping his head down.
After deliberately spilling sake on Kawaki’s face, Hinowa put on a look of mock regret. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry, my hand slipped again. But since I’m just an old woman in Kawaki-san’s eyes, I suppose you don’t mind, do you?”
“Heh heh, not at all,” Kawaki replied with a forced smile, his eyes squinting. “After all, you’re just an old lady, so mistakes are perfectly normal. Ahahaha…”
Despite the gritted teeth in Kawaki’s voice, Hinowa ignored it and gestured toward Suzuran, introducing, “Taifu, this is Kawaki-san, the savior of Yoshiwara and the new King of the Night.”
“Temporary,” Kawaki added, still expressionless.
“Ah, right. I always thought I should thank you someday…” Suzuran took the sake that Hinowa handed her and shakily extended it toward Kawaki, but then she started coughing violently again.
After coughing and spilling half the sake, Suzuran regained some composure and extended the sake to Kawaki once more. “Let’s drink until we drop tonight.”
Receiving a fierce glare from Hinowa, Kawaki reluctantly propped his head on his hand, unwillingly picking up his small sake cup and turning his face away as he extended it toward Suzuran.
“Cough, cough…” Suzuran started coughing again, spilling more sake.
When Hinowa thought the sake would spill over the floor, Kawaki suddenly moved his hand holding the sake cup.
Watching Kawaki expertly catch every drop of sake, filling the cup perfectly, Hinowa covered her mouth and chuckled softly, thinking, He’s a man whose thoughts are impossible to read.
Kawaki downed the sake in one gulp, then smiled and turned the cup upside down as a signal.
“As expected from the legendary oiran, this sake is quite something.”
Suzuran’s old face turned red for some reason, and she hurriedly raised her hand to pour more sake. “Let’s drink until we can’t anymore tonight. Oh? The sake is already empty? What a great drinker you are… cough.”
As she failed to cough properly, Suzuran’s face visibly worsened as if she were choking. She suddenly collapsed to the ground, struggling to breathe.
Seeing Suzuran gasping for air, Kawaki quickly got up. “Hey! Are you okay? Hinowa, call an ambulance!”
But just as Kawaki said this, he noticed Hinowa calmly strumming a shamisen and smiling as she praised, “As expected from a master of dance, Taifu Suzuran, what an amazing breakdance.”
Watching Suzuran struggle on the floor, Kawaki retorted furiously, “How is this breakdancing?! It looks like she’s about to cross the River Styx!”
Kawaki quickly knelt and lifted Suzuran, carefully tending to her.
“Hey! Are you okay? Have you seen your former customers waving to you from across the river? Make sure they pay up before you go! Don’t cross over without seeing the money!”
At that moment, Suzuran’s flushed face turned red again as she softly said, “You’re so impatient, aren’t you, guest? Shall we head to bed now?”
“Is she already seeing her life flash before her eyes?!” Kawaki exclaimed. “Hey! Hang in there! If you die now, it won’t count as a workplace accident! If you die now, Tsukuyo might find out that I used the workers’ compensation fund to buy games! Hey! Stay with me!!”
At that moment, Hinowa suddenly said, “Get ready for bed~.”
As soon as she said that, two young girls wheeled in a fully equipped mobile hospital bed, and Suzuran was placed on it for emergency care.
“Phew~ That was close,” Kawaki sighed with relief. “That was a close call. If they had found out I tampered with the funds, Tsukuyo would definitely kill me. I’ll just replace the money next month… no, the month after that…”
Ten minutes later, Suzuran’s condition finally stabilised.
As Kawaki stood by the hospital bed, Suzuran weakly said, “Tonight… tonight has been so satisfying.”
“It was more of a close call,” Kawaki replied with a light smile.
“Thank you for attending my final drinking party,” Suzuran continued, her voice faint. She slowly closed her eyes, a relieved smile on her face. “You’re such a kind person, still willing to care for an old oiran like me. It’s been a long time since someone kind enough to catch my sake… such kindness is truly…”
Suzuran didn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she shakily plucked a strand of her hair, tied it around Kawaki’s left pinky finger, and asked softly, “Will you make a promise with me?”
After tying the hair around Kawaki’s finger, Suzuran showed the hair tied around her left pinky and continued, “When the moon rises, please come and see me again. I will wait until the moon is in the sky…”
…
Late at night.
Standing outside the door, Kawaki crossed his arms inside his sleeves, squinting at the moon with a smile. Hinowa spoke softly, “Aren’t you curious about that strand of hair?”
“I’m not the kind of man who doesn’t understand a woman’s heart,” Kawaki replied, turning around with a smile. “Even if she’s a courtesan, she’s still just a woman. In any era, women are always more emotional than men, while men are often more cunning.”
“That may not always be the case,” Hinowa smiled lightly, lowering her head as she plucked the strings of her shamisen. “‘My love belongs to you alone,’ ‘I will never betray you’—to prove their vows, courtesans would give a man they admired a lock of their hair, a nail clipping, or a blood print. But unfortunately, most of the time, it was just a trick to extract more money from the men. Cunning, isn’t it?”
“Who knows…” Kawaki pulled his hand out from his sleeve, looking at the hair tied around his pinky finger. “But maybe it’s something like an April Fool’s confession? Whether it’s true or not… only the person involved would know for sure.”
“That’s a good analogy.” Hinowa stopped playing her shamisen and looked up with a smile. She continued, “Perhaps she really believed in an April Fool’s confession. That’s why, even though she can no longer take clients and Yoshiwara has been liberated, she stubbornly refuses to retire, saying she’ll do anything as long as she can stay here. She plans to live out her days as a courtesan, never leaving this place.”
“She mentioned that a long time ago, when Yoshiwara was still above ground, she made a promise with someone to escape together. It seems she’s mistaken you for that man.”
“Is that so?” Kawaki nonchalantly cleaned his ear with his pinky. “If she could mistake me for him, it just means that man was a good person like me, right?”
“Indeed, if they were so similar that she mixed you up, that man must have been just as much of a scumbag as you are,” Hinowa said with mock surprise. “Oh no! I’d better hurry and explain this to Taifu Suzuran!”
“I’ll kill you, you old hag. Whoa!”
As Kawaki was hit in the face by the shamisen, Hinowa smiled and apologised, “Sorry, sorry, my hand slipped again because of my old age~.”
“Tch!” Kawaki wiped away the nosebleed, spat disdainfully, and then glanced at Tsukuyo, who was patrolling the street in the distance.
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