Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 77
“Shouldn’t a daughter be persuaded and guided when she has a bad boyfriend?! Why do you all want to get rid of him surprisingly?!”
“I will never admit that kind of flamboyant hooligan as a boyfriend! And…to communicate with my daughter at such a sensitive age…how can this kind of thing be done!” Matsudaira said through gritted teeth.
“Shut up! I will never admit that you are a police director!” Toshiro angrily said, “And… what do you mean by not being able to communicate with your daughter of this age? You just don’t dare to do it! If you can’t communicate with your daughter, you choose to kill your daughter’s boyfriend?”
“Hijikata-san, I will never admit that you are the vice-captain of Shinsengumi,” Sogo said.
“Shut up!” Toshiro shouted at Sogo, then looked at Matsudaira again, “Are you kidding me? We are here to accompany you, but we are actually helping you destroy your daughter’s date! No, I’m going back.”
After saying that, Toshiro turned around and was about to leave. But at this moment, Kawaki fired a second shot.
“Ah, just a little bit more~,” Kawaki said with a face full of regret, “Just a little bit more and I would be able to hit his weapon.”
“Next time, hit the two balls above the weapon,” Matsudaira suggested.
“Alright, then… GAME START!”
Just as Kawaki finished speaking, he was kicked over by Toshiro, who had returned, “START my ass! Hurry up and leave, don’t get in the way! ”
“Hey? Who are these people?” At this time, Seita slowly woke up. However, when he opened his eyes, he saw these people who looked malicious. He quickly ran to Kawaki’s side, “Brother Kawaki, what are you doing here?”
“Oh, are you awake?” Kawaki looked at the somewhat flustered Seita. With a flash of inspiration, he handed the gun in his hand to Seita, “Do you see that punk in the distance? Use this to hit his [Beep—].”
“Huh? Why?” Seita was a little confused.
“Training!” Kawaki said in a serious tone, “I thought it was time. Since you are Yoshiwara’s man, you must learn to fight! Fight with those stinky men! Tsukuyo won’t teach you, so only I can teach you! Quick, shoot! Gamakichi!”
“What the hell are you teaching a child!” Toshiro shouted, “What do you want to train him to look like?! Toad boss?!”
“That’s right!” Matsudaira continued, “Let’s just hit him in the heart! That part is also okay.”
“What you said is almost the same!” Toshiro complained.
“Are you feeling sorry for that scum? Toshi!” Matsudaira said sharply, “Do you think that kind of scum can make Kuriko happy? Although I also think that as long as the daughter likes it, the father should recognize it. I have a headache and thought about it for a long time, but the final conclusion is that he must be killed…”
“You are thinking too much!” Toshiro shouted.
“Hey, why do I feel that this guy is talking so much today? Doesn’t your Shinsengumi have a character called Virgin or something?” Kawaki whispered to Sogo.
“Ah, it’s hard to appear on the camera, so he just wants to add more words.” Sogo explained, “And that character is not called [Virgin], but [Virgin Yamazaki who has no sense of existence in his life].”
“So that’s the case…” However, just as he finished speaking, Kawaki noticed something, “That, that girl and that little rascal have already entered the amusement park!”
“I say, Kondo-san, you should also talk about this idiot.” As he spoke, Toshiro looked at Kondo who was squatting on the ground, fiddling with something.
“Who are you calling Kondo-san?” Kondo said as he stood up. He was wearing sunglasses and holding a newly assembled sniper rifle in his hand, “Please call me Assasin Gorilla 13!”
(TL Note: Gorilla 13 is a parody of the manga series Golgo 13.)
“What are you doing…” Toshiro was too lazy to retort him, “Why 13?”
“The symbol of misfortune.”
“This is the thirteenth time I was dumped by Miss Otae!” As he spoke, Kondo had already walked over to the grass and set up his sniper rifle, “Pops! I’ll help you! I hate it when men dress up so extravagantly. They have a bad look on their faces!”
“Kondo…” On the side, Matsudaira was actually a little moved. In addition to being moved, he also reassembled a sniper rifle for himself.
“I watched Kuriko grow up just like my own sister! How can I give it to that kind of man! Let’s go! Pops!” As he spoke, Kondo was the first to rush into the amusement park.
Matsudaira, who was at the side, reacted quickly and rushed in as well. He even dragged Seita who was beside him, “Little brat, I’ll hit the head, [Beep—] to Kondo, and the heart will be handed over to you! If you hit, uncle will buy you a gift you like!”
“Eh? Really? Anything?” Seita asked.
“Ah, really. Except for my daughter, I can give you anything!”
“Oh no, maybe they will really do it.” Toshiro looked at Sogo and said, “Sogo, you say a few words too!”
“Huh?” Sogo, who had already put on his sunglasses and was holding a sniper rifle, replied, “Who is Sogo? I am Assasin Sogo 13!” As he spoke, Sogo also rushed into the amusement park. As he ran, he said, “It looks quite interesting. I will be back soon…”
“Ah, then I will also…” As he spoke, Kawaki also took out sunglasses and put them on. Although he did not have a sniper rifle, he reluctantly replaced it with an umbrella, “I will go too…”
“You don’t have to go!” Toshiro asked, tugging at Kawaki’s collar, “Do you really want to kill someone?”
“Hahaha, I just accepted your director’s request, and it looks very interesting, doesn’t it?”
“Interesting my ass!” Toshiro shouted, then smoked a cigarette and continued, “In short, you have to stop them with me. You added a lot of oil and vinegar here!”
“In fact, when I play Counter-Strike, I prefer to be a terrorist. I am quite disgusted with the things like being a police officer.” Kawaki said.
“Who is talking to you about games! But it is true that you are the police today! Uncle Matsudaira and the others are terrorists! That couple is the hostage! We must protect them! ”
“Huh? Really?” Kawaki suddenly became interested, “Is that gorilla our enemy? Can we shoot and kill it? It’s too interesting! The real version of the Counter-Strike! I’m coming!”
As he spoke, Kawaki also rushed into the amusement park.
“Can you listen to someone finish talking! You can’t kill anyone! Not a single person!” After saying that, Toshiro realized that he seemed to have missed something, “Even a gorilla can’t be killed!”
At this time, Kuriko and the little hooligan boyfriend were sitting on a merry-go-round.
Not far from them were Matsudaira, Kondo, and Sogo, the three men with guns and sunglasses, as well as a gun and sunglasses Gamakichi.
“Bastard, you really have a trick up your sleeve! You actually chose to play this!” Matsudaira said hatefully.
“I can’t aim accurately, and I feel a little sick…” Kondo raised his sniper rifle and said.
“The most important thing is when can we catch up to them? Why is the distance not shortened at all?” Matsudaira continued.
“How can it be shortened! This is a merry-go-round! It rotates with the pedestal!” Seita loudly ridiculed.
“As expected of Yoshiwara’s little brat. You even know about this kind of thing.” After a pause, Matsudaira continued, “I haven’t been to the amusement park before, so I can’t figure it out. Although I often go to adult’s [amusement park]!”
“Huh? Really? Then why haven’t I seen you in Yoshiwara?” Seita asked curiously, “Are you bragging?”
“En? Pops, I’m a regular customer of the Kabaret House! Compared to the kind of Yoshiwara woman who can do anything as long as you give her money, I still like to accompany the woman in the Kabaret House. Although that is the case, if you have to invite me to Yoshiwara, I can also reluctantly make a trip there…”
Kawaki and Toshiro were standing next to the merry-go-round and watching.
“Fortunately, they have a hole in their brains. Otherwise, the little punk might have been in danger just now.” Toshiro said with lingering fear. However, just as he finished speaking, Toshiro saw Kawaki raise his umbrella and constantly glance at the little hoodlum sitting next to Kuriko.
“What are you doing?!”
“What am I doing?” Kawaki turned his head. “Anyway, there are only two of us. If we calculate the score, even if we kill the hostages ahead of time, we won’t lose, right? We will deduct ten points for killing one hostage, but we can earn it back with the terrorist head! You can’t count such simple arithmetic?”
“Do you really think you’re playing a game?!” Toshiro was so angry that he almost fainted, “Switch games! Switch to games that prevent the two of them from dating!”
“Hey? I just played this game in the last chapter. I still have to play this one. Will the readers feel bored, V-shaped bangs?”
“Shichibei-sama~ I want to sit on that~” Kuriko pointed at the roller coaster and said.
“No way, I’m not too good with that kind of thing.” The little punk, no, Shichibei scratched his head and replied.
“Are you afraid?” Kuriko asked with a smile.
“I’m not afraid, it’s just nauseating,” Shichibei explained.
“In fact, you are afraid, right?”
“No!” Shichibei retorted and reassured her, “Good, go sit by yourself.”
“No, let’s sit together~” Kuriko pulled Shichibei and acted like a spoiled child. At the same time, she looked at the roller coaster track on the side, “It’s really very interesting~”
Just as Shichibei wanted to refuse, he felt a hard object pressed against his back.
“Quit babbling and get on the damn ride, you Holstein bastard!” Sogo held the dagger against Shichibei’s back and whispered to remind them, “If you dare to scream, I will open a few more holes in your body!”
(TL Note: Holstein is a type of cow.)
In an instant, Shichibei was so scared that he broke out in cold sweat. He didn’t even dare to breathe loudly.
Seeing that there was something wrong with Shichibei next to him, Kuriko asked, “Shichibei-sama? What happened to you?”
“That… I think… let’s sit together…”
Kawaki sat on the bench in the amusement park and watched this scene. He then said helplessly, “Obviously I only need one or two bullets, you have made such trouble, really…”
“That’s right, the police now have this kind of virtue…” Matsudaira sighed.
“You are the director of the police, okay?” Toshiro retorted. Then, he glanced at Sogo, who was busy working, “In short, there are various ways to just let the two of them break up without having to do those extra things.”
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